Said I To Myself, Said I.

When I went to the Bar as a very young man,     (Said I to myself said I),     I'll work on a new and original plan     (Said I to myself said I),     I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief     Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief,     Because his attorney has sent me a brief     (Said I to myself said I!).     I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes     (Said I to myself said I),     Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise     (Said I to myself said I),     Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force     In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce,     Have perjured themselves as a matter of course     (Said I to myself said I).     Ere I go into court I will read my brief through     (Said I to myself said I),     And I'll never take work I'm unable to do     (Said I to myself said I).     My learned profession I'll never disgrace     By taking a fee with a grin on my face,     When I haven't been there to attend to the case     (Said I to myself said I!).     In other professions in which men engage     (Said I to myself said I),     The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage     (Said I to myself said I),     Professional license, if carried too far,     Your chance of promotion will certainly mar     And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar     (Said I to myself said I!).