Said The Kaiser To The Spy

Now tell me what can England do?     Said the Kaiser to the Spy.     She can do nought, your Majesty,     You rule the sea and sky.     Her day of destiny is done;     Her path of peace is plain;     For she dare never throw a troop     Across the Strait again.     The Kaiser sent his mighty host,     With Bombast in advance,     To set his seal on Paris first,     And make an end of France.     Their guns were heard in Paris streets,     And trembling Europe heard;     (Theyre staggering back in Belgium now)     And England said no word.     Now tell me what can England do?     Said the Kaiser to the Spy.     She can do nought in Southern seas     Where her possessions lie!     Her colonies are arming now,     They only wait your aid!     Ill send my ships, the Kaiser said,     And I will kill her trade!     The Kaiser sent his cruisers forth     To do their worst or best;     And one made trouble in the North,     The Cocos tell the rest.     He sent a squadron to a coast     Where treachery prevailed,     Gramercy! They were stricken hard     On seas that Raleigh sailed!     Now tell me what can England do?     Said the Kaiser to the Spy.     Her ports are all unfortified     And there your chances lie!     He sent his ships to Scarborough,     And called them back again.     The Blucher lies in Channel ooze     With seven hundred men.     Oh, tell me what can England do?     Said the Kaiser to the Spy.     She cant hold Egypt for a day,     (I have it from On High.)     And so the Kaiser paid the Turk     To put the matter through,     And Englands Queen of Egypt now,     And boss of Turkey too.     Now tell me what shall England do?     Said the Kaiser to the Spy.     You see that neither of them knew     Much more than you or I.     But the blooming thing thats troubling me     As the pregnant weeks go by,     Is wotinell shall England do     When the Kaiser hangs that Spy!