The Auld Carle.

The auld man had a girnin' wife,     An' she was aye compleenin',     For a' kin' o' orra things     The body aye was greenin'.     It's "I'll try this," and "I'll try that,"     At ilka adverteesement,     She flang his siller richt an' left     An' niver got nae easement.     The carle he led sic a life,     The haill thing was a scunner,     Sae ae braw day his birse was up,     He fairly roondit on her.     "Ye're aye gaun to dee, gude-wife-     Fowre nichts I hinna sleepit,     Gin it's to be, I wush to peace     Ye'd set a day an' keep it!"     Wow! noo there was a tirravee!     An angry wife was she, than!     "An' is it no' my ain affair     The day I'm gaun to dee, than!     Aha! ye think ye'll tryst the wricht     An' rid him o' his timmer?     Syne haud anither waddin' wi'     Some feckless, thowless limmer!"     Awyte, but noo she's fu' o' life     She's ta'en anither tack o't!     An' aye that she flees oot on him     His words is at the back o't!     Sae keep your tongue atween your teeth     When ettlin' to be cliver,     Ense ye'll be like the auld carle     An' en' waur aff than iver!