The Auld Doctor.

O' a' the jobs that sweat the sark     Gie me a kintra doctor's wark,     Ye ca' awa' frae dawn till dark,     Whate'er the weather be, O!     Some tinkler wife is in the strae,     Your boots are owre the taps wi' clay     Through wadin' bog an' sklimmin' brae     The besom for to see, O!     Ye ken auld Jock o' Windybarns?     The bull had near ca'ed oot his harns,     His een were blinkin' fu' o' starns,     An' doon they ran for me, O!     There's ae guid wife, we're weel acquaint,     Nae trouble's kent but what she's taen't,     Yet aye she finds some new complaint,     O' which I hae the key, O!     She's had some unco queer mishaps,     Wi' nervish wind and clean collapse,     An' naethin' does her guid but draps-     Guid draps o' barley-bree, O!     I wouldna care a docken blade,     Gin her accoont she ever paid,     But while she gi'es me a' her trade,     There's ne'er a word o' fee, O!     Then De'il hae a' thae girnin' wives,     There's ne'er a bairn they hae that thrives,     It's aye the kink-hoast or the hives     That's gaun to gar them dee, O!     Tak' ony job ye like ava!     Tak' trade, the poopit or the law,     But gin ye're wise ye'll haud awa'     Frae medical degree, O!