The Fairy Curate.

Once a fairy     Light and airy     Married with a mortal;     Men, however,     Never, never     Pass the fairy portal.     Slyly stealing,     She to Ealing     Made a daily journey;     There she found him,     Clients round him     (He was an attorney).     Long they tarried,     Then they married.     When the ceremony     Once was ended,     Off they wended     On their moon of honey.     Twelvemonth, maybe,     Saw a baby     (Friends performed an orgie).     Much they prized him,     And baptized him     By the name of Georgie,     Georgie grew up;     Then he flew up     To his fairy mother.     Happy meeting -     Pleasant greeting -     Kissing one another.     "Choose a calling     Most enthralling,     I sincerely urge ye."     "Mother," said he     (Rev'rence made he),     "I would join the clergy.     "Give permission     In addition -     Pa will let me do it:     There's a living     In his giving -     He'll appoint me to it.     Dreams of coff'ring,     Easter off'ring,     Tithe and rent and pew-rate,     So inflame me     (Do not blame me),     That I'll be a curate."     She, with pleasure,     Said, "My treasure,     'T is my wish precisely.     Do your duty,     There's a beauty;     You have chosen wisely.     Tell your father     I would rather     As a churchman rank you.     You, in clover,     I'll watch over."     Georgie said, "Oh, thank you!"     Georgie scudded,     Went and studied,     Made all preparations,     And with credit     (Though he said it)     Passed examinations.     (Do not quarrel     With him, moral,     Scrupulous digestions -     'Twas his mother,     And no other,     Answered all the questions.)     Time proceeded;     Little needed     Georgie admonition:     He, elated,     Vindicated     Clergyman's position.     People round him     Always found him     Plain and unpretending;     Kindly teaching,     Plainly preaching,     All his money lending.     So the fairy,     Wise and wary,     Felt no sorrow rising -     No occasion     For persuasion,     Warning, or advising.     He, resuming     Fairy pluming     (That's not English, is it?)     Oft would fly up,     To the sky up,     Pay mamma a visit.     * * * * * * * *     Time progressing,     Georgie's blessing     Grew more Ritualistic -     Popish scandals,     Tonsures sandals -     Genuflections mystic;     Gushing meetings -     Bosom-beatings -     Heavenly ecstatics -     Broidered spencers -     Copes and censers -     Rochets and dalmatics.     This quandary     Vexed the fairy -     Flew she down to Ealing.     "Georgie, stop it!     Pray you, drop it;     Hark to my appealing:     To this foolish     Papal rule-ish     Twaddle put an ending;     This a swerve is     From our Service     Plain and unpretending."     He, replying,     Answered, sighing,     Hawing, hemming, humming,     "It's a pity -     They're so pritty;     Yet in mode becoming,     Mother tender,     I'll surrender -     I'll be unaffected "     But his Bishop     Into HIS shop     Entered unexpected!     "Who is this, sir, -     Ballet miss, sir?"     Said the Bishop coldly.     "'T is my mother,     And no other,"     Georgie answered boldly.     "Go along, sir!     You are wrong, sir;     You have years in plenty,     While this hussy     (Gracious mussy!)     Isn't two and twenty!"     (Fairies clever     Never, never     Grow in visage older;     And the fairy,     All unwary,     Leant upon his shoulder!)     Bishop grieved him,     Disbelieved him;     George the point grew warm on;     Changed religion,     Like a pigeon, {1}     And became a Mormon!