William Rufus

The reign of King William the Second Were an uninteresting affair There's only two things that's remembered of him That's his sudden death and his red hair. He got his red hair from his Mother, The crown that he wore were his Dad's, And the arrow that came at the end of his reign Were a well-deserved gift from the lads. For William were cunning and cruel, Addicted to every vice He'd bluster and perjure and ravage and murder, Apart from all that... he weren t nice. He'd two brothers called Robert and Henry, One older, one younger than he, And by terms of the Will of old Conqueror Bill The estate had been split into three. Thus William became King of England; And Normandy... that went to Bob; Young Hal got no throne, but received a cash bonus Instead of a regular job. But Bob weren't content with his Dukedom, And Will weren't content with his throne Both wanted the lot and each started to plot How to add t'other share to his own. Young Hal went from one to the other, Telling each as be thought he were right, And mixing the pudding he roused the bad blood in Them both till they reckoned they'd fight. So Will got his army together And planned an invasion of France, But HaI chanced to find out what Will had in mind And sent Robert a line in advance. The result were when Bill crossed the Channel, Instead of t'surprise that were meant, He was met on the shore by Duke Bob and his Normans. And came back as fast as he went. And later when Bob crossed to England, Intending to ravage and sack, It were Henry again who upset the campaign And t'were Robert this time that went back After one or two sim'lar debacles They tumbled to Henry's tricks, And joined with each other to find their young brother And take him and knock him for six. But Henry got wind of their coming, And made off without more ado To his fortified pitch on the Isle of St. Michel, From which he cocked snooks at the two. When they found things had come to a deadlock They shook hands and called it a day, But though Henry pretended that quarrels was ended He still had a card he could play. He came back to England with William And started a whispering campaign To spoil his prestige with his vassals and lieges Which whispering wasn't in vain. For one day when William were hunting An arrow from somewhere took wing, And William were shot, falling dead on the spot, And Henry proclaimed himself King. So young Henry, who started with nothing, At the finish held England in thrall, And as Bob were away with a party Crusading, He pinched his possessions and all.