Revelations of Self Loathing
By Colin
Sleep fails to find me the voices have grown quiet Stillness surrounds me in shroud-like solitude I find myself further away night bleeds into day and simple awareness becomes my torture the spiders crawl over me spinning a web of discontentment Dreamless nights and even less vivid reality shows me movie projections of empty space yearning and clawing to be nothing blind ambition and the lack of motivation Nothing binds me here except myself quiet and alone the shadows breath and are filled with more desire and less loathing of life End slowly fades to beginning No one understands where I stand I am unable to grasp the failed reality of my life No one stays for very long until the void reclaims them holes in my soul each and everyone Myself the constant paradigm of change without change Chaos flows through my life like a river runs slowly leading all misfortunes to the sea of shortcommings cry for the dying self and await the emergence of the lesser self from the crystalis of self loathing built high around the soul never worry for the light fades quickly and darkness remains as an epitath of the man who went before Who are all these faces my friends and family are unfamiliar to me I seek my sactuary in the unclean shrine of past mistakes and no ones sees the drowning of the soul Written October 21st, 2001 © on Oct 20 2001 05:16 PM PST 18 • 0 • 10
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"Sleep fails to find me the voices have grown quiet Stillness surrounds me in shroud-like solitude I find myself further away night bleeds into day and simple awareness becomes my torture the spiders crawl over me spinning a web of discontentment Dreamless nights and even less vivid reality shows me movie projections of empty space yearning and clawing to be nothing blind ambition and the lack of motivation Nothing binds me here except myself quiet and alone the shadows breath and are filled with more desire and less loathing of life End slowly fades to beginning No one understands where I stand I am unable to grasp the failed reality of my life No one stays for very long until the void reclaims them holes in my soul each and everyone Myself the constant paradigm of change without change Chaos flows through my life like a river runs slowly leading all misfortunes to the sea of shortcommings cry for the dying self and await the emergence of the lesser self from the crystalis of self loathing built high around the soul never worry for the light fades quickly and darkness remains as an epitath of the man who went before Who are all these faces my friends and family are unfamiliar to me I seek my sactuary in the unclean shrine of past mistakes and no ones sees the drowning of the soul..."