A Knife Into My Back
By Convolution
I’m still looking for my life in here, and I found it on someone else’s canvass. So I chipped it all away and made it my own. I lit it on fire so nobody else could have it when I was done. I was selfish. I owed society back for things along those lines, but now the debt’s been paid. I have an apostrophe across my chest, and you know what’s missing. I keep it in the safety deposit box with my friends. Yeah it’s a good missing. If I wasn’t then there’d be no segregation for me. I never told you anything because I hate the chimes you answer with. Kill my ice-hole’s occupants. When they get what’s necessary, strike.Delete it because you couldn’t do it in the first place, with all your hair in your face and the veins on your hands throbbing out as if they were vessels of blood. Empty.If you could hold on to anything at all you could feel your hands and make them do your deeds but you have to commit crimes in your mind.You have to be in love with something or you’ll never even get to touch it and you want to say fuck and you’re a bastard and the music’s building and you don’t know when to stop and you don’t care because when it comes time to do so you’ll be so angry that your fingernails will chip the keys away and you’ll plow right through your cue and you don’t want the music to stop building and if you could be angry forever then you would because you love it you god damn masochist why don’t you look up at what your saying to yourself and then you’d realize that you’re totally right but you don’t want to admit it because you know your family will come interrupt you at any moment and you don’t even care about spaces and you don’t even care about what your saying and how you say it because you’ll never understand yourself until you get back to the place that loves you you bigot you charlatan you pompous imbecile I hate your guts and you hate mine and I talk to you in third person and I rant because you rant and if you had a damn spine then you’d show up where we could take it outside but we’d just be breaking laws against each other because suicide is illegal. Written October 2nd, 2001 © on Oct 02 2001 02:42 PM PST 0 • 1
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"I’m still looking for my life in here, and I found it on someone else’s canvass. So I chipped it all away and made it my own. I lit it on fire so nobody else could have it when I was done. I was selfish. I owed society back for things along those lines, but now the debt’s been paid. I have an apostrophe across my chest, and you know what’s missing. I keep it in the safety deposit box with my friends. Yeah it’s a good missing. If I wasn’t then there’d be no segregation for me. I never told you anything because I hate the chimes you answer with. Kill my ice-hole’s occupants. When they get what’s necessary, strike.Delete it because you couldn’t do it in the first place, with all your hair in your face and the veins on your hands throbbing out as if they were vessels of blood. Empty.If you could hold on to anything at all you could feel your hands and make them do your deeds but you have to commit crimes in your mind.You have to be in love with something or you’ll never even get to touch it and you want to say fuck and you’re a bastard and the music’s building and you don’t know when to stop and you don’t care because when it comes time to do so you’ll be so angry that your fingernails will chip the keys away and you’ll plow right through your cue and you don’t want the music to stop building and if you could be angry forever then you would because you love it you god damn masochist why don’t you look up at what your saying to yourself and then you’d realize that you’re totally right but you don’t want to admit it because you know your family will come interrupt you at any moment and you don’t even care about spaces and you don’t even care about what your saying and how you say it because you’ll never understand yourself until you get back to the place that loves you you bigot you charlatan you pompous imbecile I hate your guts and you hate mine and I talk to you in third person and I rant because you rant and if you had a damn spine then you’d show up where we could take it outside but we’d just be breaking laws against each other because suicide is illegal...."