My Disease
By cryingangel
I was diagnosed as clinically depressed.I failed all of their many tests.I have a chemical imbalance in my brain.Sometimes it makes me go insane.I don't know if I want to live or die.And to get out of it, I often lie. Since I am 'bi-polar' I have severe mood swings.Medicine sometimes doesn't help these things.I have been in the hospital for the voices I hear.'It's early Schizophrenia, my dear.'I tried to kill myself to escape.But I was taken to the ER, I felt I was raped.Most of my friends have turned their backs.I don't have the energy to trace their tracks.If they had stayed they would know I am sick.But the bomb was ready to tick.Until just recently, I didn't fully see how much I hurts others.I am surprised that Mike didn't leave with the others.He was the only one that had stayed.But I can now understand this is the bed I made.But the difference is now that I am on medicine.Who should be named as my next to kin?If I should try this again someday.I hope it works that is what I pray.For now, I am cured until my next episode.Believe me next time it's the gun I will load.I will take the bullet straight to my head.And just pray that I am dead. Written October 29th, 2001 © on Oct 29 2001 08:59 AM PST 18 • 0 • 1
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"I was diagnosed as clinically depressed.I failed all of their many tests.I have a chemical imbalance in my brain.Sometimes it makes me go insane.I don't know if I want to live or die.And to get out of it, I often lie. Since I am 'bi-polar' I have severe mood swings.Medicine sometimes doesn't help these things.I have been in the hospital for the voices I hear.'It's early Schizophrenia, my dear.'I tried to kill myself to escape.But I was taken to the ER, I felt I was raped.Most of my friends have turned their backs.I don't have the energy to trace their tracks.If they had stayed they would know I am sick.But the bomb was ready to tick.Until just recently, I didn't fully see how much I hurts others.I am surprised that Mike didn't leave with the others.He was the only one that had stayed.But I can now understand this is the bed I made.But the difference is now that I am on medicine.Who should be named as my next to kin?If I should try this again someday.I hope it works that is what I pray.For now, I am cured until my next episode.Believe me next time it's the gun I will load.I will take the bullet straight to my head.And just pray that I am dead...."