Fading Radiance

Never alone in my thoughts, Haunted by past affection, Pursued by potential love. Imagination Constantly running, From past To unknown future, Avoiding living In the ephemeral present Too fast and fleeting. I would rather absorb myself In past nightmares, And future aspirations, Than live here and now. Maybe I should free my soul from this burden, Leave behind this useless corpse, So I can soar with my dreams Without the weight of this meaningless garb, Donned at birth Worn until death. Why not accelerate the inevitable? Peel off my skin Bare my bones Be truly free. I can’t… I don’t know why, Perhaps it is not my time For I know I do not enjoy this misery. Rather it must be My undying hope for change Thinking things will always get better Even though my heart Has imprisoned me in this lifeless state. I have no reason to believe Or to persevere, Other than the uncertainty of death. Why exist at all? When the sole reason of existence Is to experience pain. I do not know I cannot comprehend I have no choice, But to follow this blindly, To listen to my inner spark of hope, Nurture it, keep it safe. I know if this flickering flame Shall ever snuff out, That will be my end. My soul, like the smoke, While strong and potent at first Will slowly dissipate, Into nothingness. Written April 15th, 2002 © on Apr 14 2002 05:07 PM PST   0 • 10