Gone

Unresolved feelings Course through me No reason to love you Yet I love you still We are finished The end has long since passed Why does it bother me so much To see you with another guy? You are happy I am miserable Perhaps it’s me realizing That you never loved me I’ll never forget the day I told you “I love you” You stood silent, confused As a person wishing to wake from a nightmare Two weeks later you came back to me Telling me “I love you too” And that we would be truly happy. I had no idea the nightmare had just begun. We were happy for 2 wonderful years, But then something happened Of which I will never be sure We started to crumble or was it something more? You became tired of my endless love Realizing that you could never reciprocate The abuse began Hurting me to try and drive me away. Baffled as to what was happening I had done nothing, Giving you undying love You returned to me anger, rage and hate. However, I think you did love me At least I would like to think so I felt loved at one point Before you said you were going to let me go. You are the only person I have been with Who allowed me to see my future A Beautiful family Full of love. But this was not to be You continued your cruel torturous deeds Until both physically and emotionally I was battered and bruised The next day I told you That we were finished And now I realize through your sneaky ways That’s exactly what you wanted me to do. You tricked me, So I would be the one To break it off and take the guilt Of abandoning another. I regret that decision Although I know I shouldn’t Everyone tells me I’m better off Then why don’t I Feel it? Yes I can see that she was cruel I know that I deserve better I know there are people out there who will love me more Why then do I only wish to be loved again by her? Perhaps it is jealousy Seeing her happy and already with another man While I sit here alone Feeling bitter sadness in my cold loveless silence. But I think it’s more than that She was my first true love And I think some part of me wants her to feel That same way about me. But alas things are over and done It doesn’t matter if I felt she was “the one” Who I would love eternally For now she, everything I loved in my life is Gone. Written April 10th, 2002 © on Apr 10 2002 05:25 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1