Hope for What

Why all the black? That is the question everyone wants to know. Well let me ask you, Why shouldn't I? In my few years on this planet, I have seen things many will never see; Nor should they. I have seen uncle after uncle die. Within one year, three had passed. All of the same cause, All in the same room; Watching t.v. I grew up without any grandparents. One grandfather dead, One not allowed to see me. One grandmother states away, Another one that hated children, Then died when I started to get to know her. I have had to give up many pets, And I have seen far more die. I have grown up with three, Two of which still live; But they too will die quite shortly, For they are fifteen and suffering great pains already. As I have grown I have had the privilege to know some great women, And the fate to see them lying in their caskets. I have tried to get to know my father, Just to see my parents separate. I have tried to separate myself from the group, Just to find that they try harder to draw me in. I have held dark demons within myself, And suffered the effects. Which nearly ended my life. I have crippled most of my body beyond repair. My right knee and hip, mangled. My spine, bruised years ago; Causing tremendous nerve damage. I can no longer ride in a car for more then an hour, and stay awake. Sitting, watching out the window, forces anyone to relive memories. All of mine have been tainted with tragedy, And I have to force myself to sleep rather then see them. Every night I sit alone, In a cold, dark corner of my room. Rocking back and forth; Crying. As I fall into sleep, I imagine who will be the next to die. Once asleep, My dreams are filled with horrors, and death. Mood swings are a regular part of my life; So I am forced to stay secluded, away from people. There I do my best thinking. I have written horror stories that have been published, And I have predicted many of Americas tragedies, Such as Oklahoma, and J.F.K. Jr. The only way I have found to stay away from society, Is my black. My black clothes, scary rings, slicked back hair, and black glasses, Have all contributed to a rather ominous look, which generally scares others away. So you ask yourself; If you had been through all of that, and more, Would you be a very bright, happy, and hopeful person? Or would you want to be left alone, like me?This is an old one that I wrote back in 1999 Written March 11th, 2002 © on Mar 11 2002 08:47 AM PST   18 • 0 • 10