I thought it was over

I want to hate him. With all I have, all I am. I wish I could look at him and feel nothing but complete hatred for him. But the part that makes me want to vomit is, I can't. And It kills. I keep thinking I am over him! But honest truth be told i still love evrything about him. I love every curve of his neck,every crevix on his body. I love the way he stands, I love the way he smells mmmm(chapstick)! I love how when he is fixing lights a little bit of his boxers show. But I do also hate him. I hate the way he makes me feelw hen he hits on other women. I hate the was he knows secrets about me i wouldn't have told anyone else. I hate how he knows every curve and hollow of my body. I hate how I think I hate him, and then really don't at all. I hate how when he touches my skin it burns like fire. An ever lasting tingle that I take shower after shower to rid my self of. I hate how his words are intoxicating to the soul and dampening to the mind. I hate how when I am in a dark place with you, it takes all I posses to not touch him. I LOVE AND HATE! Two emotions I don't feel for anyone but him. I hate how these tears I cry are such a waste of water. Water he will never feel nor see. Written April 14th, 2002 © on Apr 14 2002 12:58 PM PST   18 • 0 • 8