My Baby Girl

Dear Baby Girl, mommy loves you Don’t ever think otherwise It’s just that when we found out It was a really big surprise That we I say is me and daddy But he’s no longer here When I told him about you He said he didn’t care Now I was very excited You were going to be all mine But the more I dealt with it I knew it wasn’t the right time So I had to make a decision I had to do it fast I had to have an abortion It hurt cause I knew the pain would last Now you gave mommy a hard time I was sick every night and day I hated that I had to do it But baby girl there was no other way Grandma didn’t know about you If so her heart would die So daily I sat and tried to compromise All I could do was cry I finally called the doctor So he could remove you from me He said it would be okay Just think of it as being free I called your daddy, you know To see if he’d help me through He practically hung up in my face Said he had nothing to do with you I dried my eyes, said I’d stay strong Realizing I had to do it by myself But baby girl you know and I know I didn’t conceive you without help So the day came to go see the doctor To say our final goodbyes For weeks after, I still felt pain And all I could do was cry So that’s your story beginning to end Felt I needed to justify That baby girl all the time mommy loved you It just wasn’t the right time. Written October 4th, 2001 © on Oct 04 2001 03:14 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1