Blood release

BLOOD RELEASE Speak to me of cutting, I will respond with words of guilt. Mutilation fervour, Hand around the hilt. Blade, so sharp, shining, Promising relief. Deep inside a yearning, Invading, like a thief. Who is this I am cutting? Is it me, or is it you? Why did this dark thing happen? There is nothing I can do. Waves of despair control me, A red vision spurs me on. Nothing will relieve me, Until this deed is done. AH! See the tiny globules, Rising to the surface there. So red! Now brightly flowing. Go in deeper, do not care. Bring this release unto me, Purge, purify me within. There is no greater glory now. Wash away this sin. If I could, I would scream out to GOD, To save me, but I know, When desire overcomes me, I turn from the love HE shows. I don’t want HIM there, to interfere, For the seconds that it takes. When HE sees my life blood flowing, I know that HIS heart aches. I have to turn my back on HIM, Listen to the urgency within, What I know is right for me, Is unacceptable to HIM. The deed is done, such sweet release, Yet I know, inside it breeds, Exacerbation of the guilt. GOD, where will all this lead? Does my act of cutting bother you? Tell me, what do you think is worse, The very act of mutilation, Or, this life carousel curse? I have written this for all of the Broken Dolls. My heart cries for you. Written December 22nd, 2001 © on Dec 22 2001 09:52 AM PST, Patricia Rosenberg   0 • 1