Destruction of the self

DESTRUCTION OF THE SELF Berating words, cutting and unkind, Changing blueprint of self, within the mind. Leaving scars so deep, and wounds that gape. In time, convinced of the truths, no escape. Pushing buttons, relentlessly, mercilessly, Playing sadistic games with this unreal me. Jeering, laughing, deriding your creation. Never appeased, for you, no satiation. Sealing the debris of the real me inside, Viewing this caricature of my soul with pride. Seeking to obliterate that last fine thread, Sounds of each new approach, announced by dread. Exclusive ownership of mind, body and soul, Submissive acknowledgement, never again to be whole. Courage, stamina, will to resist, disappeared, gone, Praying for death to come before each new dawn. Chained to a hell on earth by chains and locks that bind. Feelings of pleasure, self respect, now deserted this mind, Unable to flee, yet just as impossible to take a stand. Cowering, weeping shell, awaiting each new command. Where is the promised light that should show the way? So unworthy, even the deity, could not bring himself to stay. Sinking slowly, with agony, into quicksand of despair, No rescue in sight, no recognition of this pain, no one to care. Footsteps approaching, another attack is nigh, Behold, light intrudes from a star, high in the sky. Mirror reveals image of this beast attacking so wildly, How is it, the only reflection there, is this one of me? Written December 21st, 2001 © on Dec 21 2001 11:07 AM PST, Patricia Rosenberg   0 • 9