where the end is simply the beginning

its probable I am crazy its probable i have fallen ill for when I go to write words fail my soul the roads once so colorfully traveled seem blocked disengaged and shambled and the rides I once took wide eyed and grinning are too small for my body I try to grow up fancy societys mold and all that bull shit but I was never much for illusions or mythology if the greeks didnt write it I was never born a poet though I might die trying I was never a demon nor an angel so I guess Im doing allright i tell you its probable Ive lost it its probable im not here anymore its probable I never made sense its probable I never will I got people worried my guitar is as dusty as my star I remind myself of a pirate ship rusted and sunk in an untamed sea lurking monsters waiting to feed the brave come find me in my asylumed refuge looking for relics in my shaken belly relics the rest sell as junk or put into museums to be poked at casting me out into uncharted lands sometimes mental masturbation keeps me alive sometimes I am a hermit sometimes I am the crowd sometimes I feel like sitting in a christams globe so I can feel the flakes fall around me sometimes I wish I was as abstact as love so nobody could touch me its probable I dream to much Its probable I feed off nothing its probable I fuel these mental ejections its probable Ill die trying to live its probable Ive never lived at all like dust in the wind or air of a dead mans lips its probable Ill never be concrete or uncaged or free Its probable Ill never be a poet loved read or believed its probable Ill never fall from these dreams I think I belong among lights where the end is simply the beginning Written April 16th, 2002 © on Apr 16 2002 08:36 AM PST   0 • 10