untitled
By jcsherr
sure, I came to you on that balmy november evening.you were dressed in casual clothes;I was not seeing.we chatted, the tv showplaying.in the meanwhile I was thinking of howi'd like to be with you, wantingto be with you, thoughyou were not behavinglike I. at this pointI felt as though I was living a dream, a dream that I had wanted for solong to crystallize. after commentingon the beauty of yourhands we were together: instant boyfriend. though exciting it was, the snow-ball formed and began to widen. my innocence crashingdownin a big heap. all my morals, ideas, and previous beliefs were nothing.my naievete taking flight, noteven tellingme 'ciao.'three long months passed, duringwhich I felt more joy,passion, sadness, anger, and desperation in the nineteen years I had been alive. with the passingof time I changed. I decided that one can only endure somuch. I knew that I was in way over my head, and sinkingrapidly. no, I knew I could not be the one. I returned the ringto you and left your life, forever. now,on my own, I am experiencingsomething new, thoughI didn't think it was possible. it's solitude. at times I think I want you back, but knowingat the same time that I can't. I am not pleading for you to bestowupon me everythingagain. I can't ask for that. I just want you to knowthat, yes, deep down, I still do care. after all the threatening,pain, bitterness, and dreams flushed down long ago,I still care. I know I always will. but this is not a love song. i'm not beggingfor your forgiveness; I know i've hurt you. but don'tthink I'm not thinkingabout you every day. and don't think i'm not hurting; don't think I don't regret sodeeply ever becominga part of your life. don't think that when I go out at night and they talk about you i'm -- no --there's no use. if you ever see me again, I pray that you see the surgery they've been doingon my heart. I hopeyou see the hurting that i've been feeling. I know i've felt yours for god knowshow many days. i'm still here, breathing;and i'm tired, withdrawn, and alone. Written March 26th, 1997 © on Oct 12 2001 07:12 PM PST 18 • 0 • 8
AI analysis available. Enable JavaScript to interact.
About this line
"sure, I came to you on that balmy november evening.you were dressed in casual clothes;I was not seeing.we chatted, the tv showplaying.in the meanwhile I was thinking of howi'd like to be with you, wantingto be with you, thoughyou were not behavinglike I. at this pointI felt as though I was living a dream, a dream that I had wanted for solong to crystallize. after commentingon the beauty of yourhands we were together: instant boyfriend. though exciting it was, the snow-ball formed and began to widen. my innocence crashingdownin a big heap. all my morals, ideas, and previous beliefs were nothing.my naievete taking flight, noteven tellingme 'ciao.'three long months passed, duringwhich I felt more joy,passion, sadness, anger, and desperation in the nineteen years I had been alive. with the passingof time I changed. I decided that one can only endure somuch. I knew that I was in way over my head, and sinkingrapidly. no, I knew I could not be the one. I returned the ringto you and left your life, forever. now,on my own, I am experiencingsomething new, thoughI didn't think it was possible. it's solitude. at times I think I want you back, but knowingat the same time that I can't. I am not pleading for you to bestowupon me everythingagain. I can't ask for that. I just want you to knowthat, yes, deep down, I still do care. after all the threatening,pain, bitterness, and dreams flushed down long ago,I still care. I know I always will. but this is not a love song. i'm not beggingfor your forgiveness; I know i've hurt you. but don'tthink I'm not thinkingabout you every day. and don't think i'm not hurting; don't think I don't regret sodeeply ever becominga part of your life. don't think that when I go out at night and they talk about you i'm -- no --there's no use. if you ever see me again, I pray that you see the surgery they've been doingon my heart. I hopeyou see the hurting that i've been feeling. I know i've felt yours for god knowshow many days. i'm still here, breathing;and i'm tired, withdrawn, and alone...."