Freefall

The waiting is the hardest part. Your mind a idle whirlwind of thought... That's when the fear will start. Picking up speed like a runaway train. An avalanche of terror and fear Ready to sweep you off the edge of sanity. Closer and closer to the sheer- No...Stop right there. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Calm blue ocean.... Breath goes in, breath comes out. Calm blue ocean.... It's not working this time. One step closer. Panic level starts to climb. One step closer. Oh god... Take a seat. Holding on to the facade. Sanity slips so easily. White knucled fingers. Short gasping breaths. Terror likes to linger. Preying on fright. Up and up and up so high. Eyes shut tight. I don't want to die... Calmblueoceancalmblueocean. Fear like a vise in my chest. In. Out. In. Out. Then...before my mind can protest. Freefall. Down. Falling... Down. Screaming... Over almost before it's begun. My feet back on earth. The trial is done. But the fear still remains. Fear still lingers in my mind. Each time I leave the ground. You'd be surpirized at the strength you find. When you face your demons in the dark. The waiting is the hardest part. For that's where the fears begin. They'll manifest inside you heart... But only if you let them in.Okay...I'm scared of heights...VERY scared of heights...So bad I can't walk over a bridge without tensing up. This summer though my boyfriend persuaded me to go on DropZone (anyone who's been to Canada's Wonderland will understand, for everyone else...it's a big tower that drops you 100 ft or so in 4 seconds) I can't remember ever being so scared. And it took me 6 months to write about the experience. :) Here's what you get. Let me know what you think. Written January 31st, 2002 © on Jan 31 2002 01:52 PM PST   18 • 0 • 10