Go Away (Go Slowly)

i want to go away; die & be resurrected at a time when you are here you hear my cries of pain from your safe distance and tell me in conversations & poems you are sorry that i hurt & i say that's okay; i'm Taking It Like a Man while all the while you are talking to a scared & lonely child who wants to reach for mama's breast you say you go slowly through my last epistle; not wanting to run out of my sweet words i'm glad my tragedy entertains you so deeply you say you are so sorry that i feel gloomy the good news being, the days will lengthen in 10 days you don't see the darkness where i live, that it has a voice & face & hands wrapped around my throat you have wishes (warmth for me, dignity & compassion & mostly peace); i say send them to God or Santa Claus; maybe they'll come back to you wrapped tightly with a bow you were born of privilege & optimism (& faith) & didn't learn desperation at mama's breast so here's a secret i will share: neither of us can pilot the world around us you tell me please don't fall apart & i believe your begging is sincere yet i want to go away & come back when you are here then go slowly through knowing you again, not wanting to run out of your compassion...only the beginning of what I want to say to her. To be continued... Written December 17th, 2001 © on Dec 17 2001 06:45 AM PST   10 • 0