Snowed In and other Suicidal States of Being I Fall into around Christmas Time
Do you remember when I hated snow? True, I still do But do you remember when I really used to hate it? When it used to remind me of suicide and the Hanson Christmas album (which was an obsession at the time. Do you remember how I cried when you played it over the phone? Track 4 made me want to die.) Do you remember when I believed in Jesus Christ? When I didn't think of him as a myth? When I cried over my father because they said he'd go to hell? When I played flute in the church band on Christmas Eve because it made me feel grown-up? I'm going back down, I think. I hate myself more at Christmas time. I try to be happy, I do, but I lost the cheer at eleven with Santa. In my heart I'll find the season. In my heart I'll find the reason. Taylor, what do you know that I don't?I guess to sum this one up, I really have a hard time with depression at Christmas time, so any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. ( Written December 15th, 2001 © on Dec 15 2001 06:01 AM PST, Katrina Armour 0 • 10
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