Smoke

Driving that night, My favorite neighborhood, No lights, no sounds, Just the humming popping cracking of the engine And my own gentle humming. Clearing my thoughts, Ridding my heart of him. Filling my heart with Thoughts of the someone new Who waits for me even now. Breathing in the chilling January night Through the open window. I reach the edge of my favorite Shopping center, a quaint line of stores with History, stories, old patterned brick And green shutters. On the corner, a Texaco station beckons me. I pull in and stop the car, Still humming the random tune That has invaded my memory Though I don't think I've ever heard it before... How odd. I walk in and see the sign: Marlboro Special Blends, $3.43... I pause, momentarily and barely remembering The taste of them on his tongue, Sweet and rustic. I've never smoked before. I sat in the parking lot, This tiny package of broken will power, Black, red, shining in the dim orange light Of the side door, staring at me. Begging me. Then, as the window goes down again, It is lifted up, its mouth suddenly agape, And one of the contents is removed. Lit. Pulled. In that instant, I can feel that Cancerous delicacy, that sweet smoke Caressing my tongue, cradling my teeth, Fondling my throat. The wind grabs the long, wispy tendrils, Which appear outside my car as Death's languid fingers, Grasping desperately for the stars. Begging me to release them, As if I could make it burn faster. Their flight reaches a pitiable desperation As they soar away into the wind, Reaching, stroking, swimming through the chilling January night, Clawing their way to the very limits of the infinite blackness. Their need to escape is as my need to pull them back in. Hold them inside me. Release them, overjoyed by their sudden expulsion, Soaring to meet their brothers in the chilling January night. I watch, Breathless, As it burns itself out in the wind.this is not very well-written i'm afraid...just some random thoughts about my first (and only, so far) smoking experience. i'll probably post a re-write soon, i just wanted to get the ideas out there before they were lost forever in my head. Written January 4th, 2002 © on Jan 04 2002 06:01 AM PST   0 • 10