A Hungry Witch In Salem

There lived a young lass in Salem, Mass who dressed morbidly, always in black, Elvira and trusty cat familiar, Sassafras hungered for bratty kids as a midnight snack She and her coveted ebony furball just moved into an old haunted house, her pointy hat had giant claw holes that rebel feline thought 'twas a mouse One day Elvira threw a big party a ploy for rich folks living in town, she hired some naive guy named Marty to serve as bartender, DJ and clown 12 o’clock, b'witching hour, getting late her ambitious new employee was ready to rock, nobody arrived yet that evening to celebrate cheddar balls went sour, and still no knock; (as Elvira waited and waited and waited…) She wondered what she did so terribly wrong and was just trying to be a caring friend, so she created this magical bash to get along make up with locals, hurt feelings to mend The well-rehearsed raven-haired beauty pretended to cry when in burst a swarm of angry protestors and two cops, fearing the worst, she came up fast with a GREAT alibi to explain all the fresh blood on the food and soda pop Said she cut her hand at her flop housewarming party but an unneighborly snoop found an arm, ear, and thighbone, “She’s a child-eating witch!!”, screamed gossipy laborer Marty ran minus his paycheck, licking the top of an ice-cream cone Elvira’s only true crime, or to the world it seemed was that she enjoyed the taste of prime red human meat, she ate bad children, dined on hearts and kidneys steamed after picking out the fatty parts, heads, butts, and feet “Why were there bones in the trash can?”, asked that nosy snitch “I don’t know, but I did nothing wrong and you had no right to pry, said Elvira, “Everyone knows there’s no such thing as a REAL witch! I'm just hated for my unorthodox religion!”, was her brash reply; (The mob stared intensely and left, Elvira's brows arched ever so sly) Her cockamamie story those peeping toms would never believe digging for all the proof needed to land her straight in jail, what dark plan did this ruthless sexgoddess have up her gauzy sleeve? conjured an invisibility spell, mixed sleeping potion in the ale Cops interrogated her, drank a few glasses of beer and passed out awoke with hangovers early next morn, but Elvira appeared long gone, her cat hid under the bed, as policemen wandered aimlessly about gave up looking and began to leave, when a call rang on the phone Pathology report and DNA tests on the decoy bones were now back “We found them to be of animal origin”, came an officer's burly voice, meanwhile, witchy Elvira fixed her and Sassafras a yummy teatime snack everyone clueless as to why their entire town had no more noise; ('cuz she devoured all its pain-in-the-ass little girls and boys!) CACKLE, CACKLE!!     © 1/20/02, 10/31/04 SmSThis is meant to be sarcastic, to show how ignorant society can be...sorry if worded wrong, no offense to anyone Wiccan or otherwise, just being silly. Let me know if you can think of a better name for her instead of Elvira, so cliche! Alas, but it rhymed (thought of Elveena). lol Blessings!! Enjoy! ~LP~ Written February 13th, 2002 © on Feb 12 2002 04:56 PM PST, Sheryl Marcia Schwartz   23 • 7 • 4