taste

i sat. for hours i sat listening to the lullibye lady hand out her dreams to those who wanted nothing of them, refusing to die. twice i rose and strolled, felt the chill and the stillness of the neon light night. the sidewalks were icy and gleaming and whispered to me. i took my seat in the crowd and pondered the motive behind the searching eyes that your army packaged and sent from across the room. at last you stood and smiled in a way i never could coax (hair clinging to shoulders as in private moments of cold hands and warm arms) and looked out at the vacated lives. your fingers danced like lightning beams, and your feet became unglued. and i couldn't help but smile then, bound fast beneath my own awkward   rhythmless       movements. i wanted to be everything you had seen of me in those dreams sitting on dark extended limbs of reflection. but i am sewn tight into this skin, and my limbs betray me. ~~~ i look up at your hair-covered shoulders and lightning fingers and i wonder, what would i do now were i in your dream? but you do not see me. you lay down your laughter and extend a kiss. but tonight i cannot taste it. Written December 22nd, 2001 © on Dec 22 2001 12:31 PM PST   18 • 8 • 1