'Suicidal Realization'
By Marie3
What a wicked and perverted wild card the game of life has dealt me.Brought into this world and into a sea of hatred.To be beat upon and screamed at by those who were to love me.To have the very wonder of life taken from me.Looking upon my life from the outside, you might see some of the pain that dwells within.But you will never truly know the depth of my inner turmoil.I am drowning in a deep black pit of despair that is my very soul.My heart has all but shiveled up and died.There used to be a light within that illuminated the sparkle in my eyes.You stole that light from me and now the sparkle has gone dull.I am here barely even breathing. For what is th point?If I was to die, of what inportance would it be?One spec of dust removed from this world I'm sure.Of what use have I ever been anyway?A waste of space and air at best.It seems that what was left of my hope has disappeared.I see now I truly have no future.Why I have held on this long is a mystery to me.Maybe I had hopes of finding a purpose.But what a joke that has turned out to be.Of what real purpose could a spirit with broken wings be?Realizing the uselessness of my very being, a silent tear slips down my cheek.That single tear sums up my entire life; cold, alone and filled with pain.I wipe it away only to have it replaced by another and another.Soon an endless stream runs down my face.I can no longer hold back the hurt that has built up inside of me.I sob now, into my hands.The very hands I will use to take my own life. Written November 15th, 2000 © on Oct 09 2001 06:07 AM PST 18 • 0 • 1
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"What a wicked and perverted wild card the game of life has dealt me.Brought into this world and into a sea of hatred.To be beat upon and screamed at by those who were to love me.To have the very wonder of life taken from me.Looking upon my life from the outside, you might see some of the pain that dwells within.But you will never truly know the depth of my inner turmoil.I am drowning in a deep black pit of despair that is my very soul.My heart has all but shiveled up and died.There used to be a light within that illuminated the sparkle in my eyes.You stole that light from me and now the sparkle has gone dull.I am here barely even breathing. For what is th point?If I was to die, of what inportance would it be?One spec of dust removed from this world I'm sure.Of what use have I ever been anyway?A waste of space and air at best.It seems that what was left of my hope has disappeared.I see now I truly have no future.Why I have held on this long is a mystery to me.Maybe I had hopes of finding a purpose.But what a joke that has turned out to be.Of what real purpose could a spirit with broken wings be?Realizing the uselessness of my very being, a silent tear slips down my cheek.That single tear sums up my entire life; cold, alone and filled with pain.I wipe it away only to have it replaced by another and another.Soon an endless stream runs down my face.I can no longer hold back the hurt that has built up inside of me.I sob now, into my hands.The very hands I will use to take my own life...."