Z-Old Release: Back to Obscurity 8-31-2000

Here I sit in the dark alone and unabated Without fear or judgement or mockery or doubt Also alone, without love and companionship I want but I don't want, I exist yet I want to die So instead I just sit here, crying and seeking God Trying to find where I've gone wrong, know what has been done Something must have happened to get me so far off track To enjoy laughter, sleep, eating, drinking, music, Instead I see apparitions appear in the night Lost love I tore apart to protect myself inside my wall Like hell you're getting in here, that's what I used to think Here there was no pain, no shed blood of mine own But no one is close to me, no one needs me worst of all no one loves me because I don't love them wondering what will become of me and my wasted life Here, in this dark cavern, no one will find me but here, also, in this damp cavern, no one cares to find me What have I done to deserve such a fate? Of course, that's not true, fate has nothing to do with this. I chose to block myself off, to kill off emotion. To cast away and throw down my family and my friend worst of all my God and my love But God hasn't forsaken me, no, it's the other way around I've forsaken God and turned from him. But I want him back, him and all my loved ones Help me kill this creature I find strangling me help me so I don't go back to obscurity.Written October 26th, 2001 © on Oct 26 2001 03:41 PM PST, Michael Edward London    abuse • personal