I stand here in this little room...

I stand here in this little room Made small by congeries of kin And yet I stand alone, held away by their glare of gloom How their eyes saddens, when they see me as a sin "I did not mean to", I pleaded And they replied, "Why did you let him do such sham?" "And it was in you, our trust has believed" And here I stand, heart scattered by shame... It was years ago (In my time of early youth) In the city of Fargo When my dear brother and me saw the truth... How our family were truly scattered But still held, held together by bond of marriage How our father's anger painted walls in violent splatter Oh what price my mother had to pay...so many miscarriages Many so a night we would cry So a many clutches of our childish hands Our mind seeking a world to help deny The true actuality that dad is drunked out into la-la land How mothers spirit dies more at every beating rounds (How our youthful heart ache in pain for our mother) How dads anger flares all the more at every small happy sounds (How I see the anger form in my sweet brother) And so our world grew, in plots and turns Daily does our mind stew, thoughts of revenge churns Then the fateful day came When we set the ball rolling for our deadly game The mastermind, for this revenge we want to find Rests on my brothers shoulder, since he’s the one older But blind to our naive of childhood We never knew the destructive power of falsehood Once all hints and tricks has been placed My brother turns to me with love in his eyes And he said, "All things are now at their own pace" "All I have to do now is do the final stage, Good bye" As he ran out into the night rain He turned and waved with strong broad smile I waved, heart besieged by foreboding pain While my mind held false hope layered in denial As night turns to day Mother, with worry in her eyes Turns to me questioning and I lost the words I was supposed to say And the time continues to go eerily by Mother wondering and so she seeks 'round Just for motherly feeling of reassurance, The letter my brother left, she finally found As she reads, she weeps with scattered endurance I know nothing of what the letter says And I wonder why mother prances with tears on her face in layers So, Slowly the night claims the light of day And mother’s hand clutches in dwindling prayers Sound of trucks pulling up our old dusty road Father, in his dirty old over-all Glanced to the second truck, to a man of heavy set load And fathers took one look, and his face falls The big man cringes his hat in his fat palms, “…’cuse me sir and ma’am, Me have news, and hope you remain calm, …Your son died, near a dam.” Mother sounded a gasp I just stood in silent shock While father cursed in a throaty rasp Calling the fat man a lying cock Father then turned to me, anger in his eyes “Wha’ yah have to say ‘bout this, Son!?” And he beaten and battered me, as mother starts to cry “Where are you, my sweet brother?” I whimpered after father was done And so, I am now nothing more Then a forgotten son who has died with my brother dear For doing a plot I never thought was wrong before As my family continues toward the open grave near… -Nick Written March 6th, 2002 © on Mar 06 2002 07:52 AM PST   0 • 10