Our Secret

Granted a blank sheet, I had to draw out my ambition, I felt like a solitary image with no position. I was solely in my world alone, not even my face I wanted shown. My inner voice meant nothing for people to see, but masterpieces from my mind ran free. I was an artist, just like he who watches over me, dreams formed in front of me that only I could see. No longer inside, my thoughts and feelings could flee, dreams on paper at any degree. Then I met the masterpiece known as you, who put love in my life so true. As time proceeded, paper was no longer needed, for I had someone to share the dreams, I had succeeded. We were different when we had begun, but sharing the same dreams made us one. The tune of emotion flew its way through the wind of time, and our bird of love would not fall, only longer it would chime. The beat of love we had only became stronger, more than I first thought, becoming deeper and longer. I was at the pinnacle of my life's transcend, but like my dreams on paper, it would all end. Much to my surprise you vanished from this existence, and left me alone like you had found my self-subsistence. I blame you not for the suffering I endure, once again am I ruined without a cure. All the nights I had you by my side with pride, the times we cried, the times I lied. Put my troubles aside so you could confide, as I provide and our hurt would subside, and pain would reside, but then you died, leaving me here to cry without my bride. I have no inspiration, I have no pride. I don't have you by my side. Raise my hands to the sky ask the Lord above why why couldn't I die I can't say goodbye I try and I try despite my eyes running dry I hereby ly, and strive for my love... who I need can't he see who she is to me as I plea for thee my Lilly... Sitting here with paper, I have nothing left, but anger to God, due to his theft. I feel so hurt, so betrayed, he had shown me you, but took you away. You were so beautiful, so sad, so much love for you I had. No I won't continue to cry, there isn't anymore I can let free, I've cried every ounce out of me. How can I keep going without you in my arms? Why must you cause me so much pain? The gift of life I cannot destroy, just to be by your side, nor do you want me to destroy it, forcing me to push pain aside, rather I live with the agony of your heart not being with mine. I was taught to love God sacredly, but he is the one who took my love away from me. Should I love him eternally, or hate thee? God being the best of all artists, he created you, showing me love, his mastery, from his view. A true genius in my life had shown me his secret, a secret like those I had kept from existence only on paper. Every artist has a secret project he works on day and night, he showed me his, but took it away before I could fully experience it right. Will God show me it once more? That hope will remain in me, burning ever so bright. Lilly, yes, I love you, forever will you be our secret. Dedicated to Lillyanna Elizabeth Moore (c) Joe Ulisses 2000 Written December 22nd, 2000 © on Feb 05 2002 02:08 PM PST   0 • 1