I Retire

The metallic taste of blood Washes over my tounge I no longer have the sense of feel There is no pain I can see, smell and taste But I can't feel All I hear Is the to audible Ringing in my ear I cann almost see the peace I am about to succumb This is the work I do I sacerficed myself to finish and fulfill my duty And most impornantly saved my baby sister I never really had her but I still love, she feels real to me I hope she has a better life than me more normal,as you can be with my friends and the Hellmouth She's just a kid Much Like I was I see my friends Correction, my family gather around my body My former watcher, my surrogate father Is greived, as I am sure I would if he had died before me But I think he understands My best friend, first true friend, collaspes in her newly Restored lovers arms I can sense her grief But she is in good hands My guy best friend, always awashed in boyish charm Cradles his lover, she looks at me sadly but is to week to take anything in after saving him and looks back into his shirt I see him, the vamp- the man, his love for me turned pure He'll protect my sister In a state of shock and horror The fall caused his head to bleed heavily He cradles his head collasping once he realizes what happend after shakily getting up on what I am sure are crushed into salt Form legs In silent tears Shaking his body And for the very first time I am happy my mother isn't here to grieve me I was so sure I would die before her, I was only two months behind I felt the blinding pain Seering as my muscles crushed By the time I reached the ground My slayer strghnth gone, nothing to break a fall From that high I am dead But I see Giles, overly english, my honerary father Willow the bookish computer girl The one I will always love as a sister and friend She has broke out of her shy shell showing her true self Becomeing a powerful witch in the 5 years I was graced to know her Being consoled by her girlfriend Tara, the sorcess who hard life gave her a shell Wills tore her out of, she even lost that nervous stutter Xander, sweet Xander, you'll never know how I love you so Boyishly sweet, in-approiate jokes That make everything less tense and all better, more like the age we are Cradiling the ex vegance demon Who's lack of tact is a relief, reminds me of Cordelia Spike, when not trying to kill us of course Or devising plans for chip prevented He was and is a loyal ally And always listend Dawn, sweet little Dawnie, I did it for her I don't care real or not, key or not, some mythical power source and false memories, she's my baby, our blood is the same I couldn't let her die or kill her as I did you I promised myself never again The blood letting me complete the sacerfice Be young dear, be 14 Don't try to grow up, its not the best And you, your not here My ensouled vampire love, I know we broke up but that tingle Faint yes, but threre is gone Please be alive, don't betray me Carry on the work I died for The good fight I died for If not I hope you there with me Take care of you new family I used to be your one and only But Cordy and Wesley They've have changed and grow I can tell just by their voices on a telephone call and of course the new you acclumatd Never lose sight of your light my guardian Angel My true love I never stopped loving you Others tried to fill the void in my heart But you still have the biggest peice Never lose sight of your light You will be redeemed Those deceased and the ones I love and lost Beckon me, I think I see my 'mommy' My smile is warm I'm finshed, for the first time since I was called at 15 I can rest This time I am dead no coming back This time I want to... I am at peace, my friends, and little sister are safe Goodybye my love, and my family Do not worry I could never forget any of you All hold a speical dear place to me I'll never forget And goodbye this hell on earth I retireYes, I am obsessive. Pauls reaction-"It figures" wanna bet? I heart this poem though! I guess you'd hafta watch Buffy to understand it... Written February 27th, 2002 © on Feb 27 2002 11:58 AM PST   10 • 0 • 1