But Whole (not: butt hole)

I had a nightmare last night, and woke with quite a fright, and it went like this: I was laying with her and she was my wife. We had just gotten married. I didn't know her, not even her name, or who she was. I had never kissed her, held her, or made sweet love. I told her I loved her, but she didn't love me back. She laughed at me, and thought me for a fool. I was hoping that in time she could know me, for surely she would then love me, but she had not an interest in doing so. So, I saw into the future of our loveless love, to be as it was, til time, it was no more. No one to hold, no one to kiss, no one to love, no one to call my own, this married man, I was. How did I find myself in this place of loveless love. No feelings to feel but emptiness, loneliness and desire, in this marriage on the road to nowhere. So, I did wake, breath racing, and it all became so clear, that place in which I was. It was my marriage in it's end, once all her love was gone, but mine kept hanging on, and she thought it was a joke, and she thought I was a fool, and it took this nightmare to help me see, that I was no longer where I belonged, so now I understand, why I had to go away, though I didn't want our end, didn't want to see it go, but I was only half. But now I realize that half of nothing, is still nothing, so I am no longer half, but whole. Written February 8th, 2002 © on Feb 08 2002 12:54 AM PST   0 • 10