Curtains too long

I write this letter to you knowing that it will never be sent. I don't know why I ask you for the help. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I though that I was stronger than I turned out to be. You see, I couldn't find curtains to fit my bathroom window, so I bought the closest size, just a foot too long. I thought I could take them to my tailor to let him work his magic, but he told me that he didn't do curtain, and that's when I thought of you. I know you're sewing all the time, making such beautiful things with your own two hands. And I thought maybe I should ask you if you would shorten my curtains for me. But then I thought maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea after all that we'd been through, together apart. After all, you now have your own life, of which I am no longer a part and it's been six years that way. So how could I ask you for a favor, with so many miles between our hearts. It was really bothering me that my curtains were too long, as well as the fact that I couldn't use the towel rack very well buried under there, so I figured what the hell, what could it hurt, and I picked up the phone and gave you a ring. You said sure, you would shorten them for me, and you said to call you tomorrow, so you could let me know what time. And tomorrow came, and I gave you that call, but you had stepped out for a minute. And as I was driving around, shopping a bit, it hit me, deep in my heart, in the bits and pieces that you left behind. The realization that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was, and I wasn't over the deep deep hurt. The pain came rushing through my heart only to flow from my eyes in the form of these tears. I had to pull over for I couldn't see the road through this flood. And I was so mad at myself for thinking that I could have face this thing face to face, this you and I no more. You see, I realized that we were once friends and lovers and man and wife, and the parents of our child, but that was then, and this is now. You are a stranger to me now, the one who broke my heart to never be the same. My soul, it is afloat in this endless sea of tears, though at times I do forget, for it seems like a part of my oh so distant past. But this, it did remind, and I never should forget, as not to be taken by surprise by these wounds that will never heal. So this letter never sent, it was my hope you see, is the reason why my curtains too long, too long will always be. Written December 14th, 2001 © on Dec 14 2001 03:01 AM PST   0 • 10