Never got to tell you

I never got to tell you What it is that you mean to me I never got to let you know And now you aren't here You were my best friend I loved you so much I still do But I know that you have changed And it breaks my heart to think About all the times we had All the jokes we shared And even all the fights People still ask me Where did she go? I've learned to walk away They don't need to see you Like I do I cried that night For the first time since The last time I saw you When she told me That I couldn't talk to you I cried, thats unusual for me You know this, or you should I still feel guilty I know that I shouldn't But I can't help it I love you too much not to I still blame myself I know they would have found another reason But still How do I live with it? I wish I could see you Or even hear your voice Or even have you write to me But none of these have happened Or will for a long time And I'm sorry that it has to be this way I know what our friends will say But I'm saying this anyway I know its not my fault But its partially because of me Mostly I cried...I really did Hard, real, salty tears It seems like just yesterday I slapped you for Jess's sake I yelled at you And you yelled back I'd give anything to get those days back I was happy Look at me now I am not So I just wanted someone to know That I really miss her More than most know And I try But I can't not let it effect me So I'm sorry But I can't keep this pain hidden I have to let it out I just wish I could have told her How much she means to me Written January 8th, 2002 © on Jan 08 2002 09:34 AM PST, Shayla Carter   18 • 0 • 10