So Much Worse

I try So very hard It always seems Like I get nothing Whatever I do I feel talentless I feel old And thin And worn out I feel tired Like nothing I do Turns out right I feel lonely Like giving up Like sleeping Forever I feel like Turning my head Giving The could shoulder Pushing away So I do I push away I try to defend myself I step back And just look At all the damage That I have done Because Even though I try So very hard Nothing I do Turns out right So maybe I should just Stop trying And sit down And ignore You all And go off Into my own Little world Where I can zone And no one Will try To bring me Back to Earth This cursed, Shadowed planet I want to Run away Feel the wind Through my hair And just leave You all standing With your Mouths Wide open Wondering How on Earth I can be So damn fast To tell you The truth I've gotten Quite good At running Away from It all I've gotten Quite good At leaving The planet And going into My own Little world And flying away From it all I run Far too much But I'm starting Again Don't know why But I feel Like leaving Here I go Gonna stop me? That'd be nice For a change No one else tried Are you gonna? I didn't think so So I run From it all Maybe this time It will work And I run And I ignore All the pleading And the crying It is fake This I know But I wonder Why you bother To try And slow me down And claim friendship Some of you Even claim love Do you know love? Have you ever? Did you ever Taste the wind As you're running So far away From everything? Have you ever Felt the sunshine Turn to dust? Have you ever Just known That no one Out there cared? Have you ever Been told That things Could be worse? Well things Aren't worse But they're the worst That I've known At least They're way up there Because I want To escape To get away From it all And I'll miss you All my friends And I'll think About you all And I'll find Some more lives To destroy With my trying It always happens Not just With you But with everything That I do So don't tell me That its ok Because its not Beacuse every Time I try To make Something better It always Comes out So much worse... Written February 9th, 2002 © on Feb 09 2002 02:09 PM PST, Shayla Carter   18 • 0 • 1