Fade Away

I just want to fade Do nothing more than Become one of those Distant shadows, A slip of a memory In a sea of aimless dreams. I want to belong, To look the same As him, as her, As that man on the corner, The women in their Designer clothes. I want to blend in With that high crowd And not be asked For my name... Only to seem like One of them. I don't want to be Recognized or even Spoken of in The closeness of Others' homes... I want to be distant, Pull away from Your frame of reality. I want to go Where your world Overlaps hers And her life Meets my dreams In the flutter of A single heartbeat. So tired of this game Where I disguise myself, Not knowing -- Never knowing -- If the looks in their eyes Are simple disguist Or complete indifference. Can they see beneath Or do they only Skim the surface And judge by what They can't see? So tired... Hiding within, Crying my tears Into a single pillow Beneath the lonely stars... So I'll hide Within them all, Surrender my soul To the pulsing Stream of life... Become part of everyone, Yet completely solitaire, And bathe in False serenity. And you'll mistake my smile For a sign of Simple pleasure Even as it conceals The aching in my soul While I fade into The loneliness Of the night... Written November 1st, 1999 © on Apr 11 2002 04:42 PM PST, Elizabeth Botkin   0 • 1