Speak Beauty

Pathetically confused, Unable to think, Think of what, which is right, Repeating your name, as if to awaken you from afar, I know not what to do, If that which I think is correct or not, My thoughts belong to you, Yet unknown to myself and you, Oh, how I wish to tell you, Yet, what holds me back? Is it your astounding beauty, Or my fear of rejection? Unknown to you, is the amount which I care, And if the moment calls, I will be there, Yet, you know nothing of this, I stood with you and talked, waiting, Speaking of minor things, yet we did talk, Did you notice me? Did you notice how much I enjoyed your smile? Your eyes, or even your soft skin? Your soft laugh and gentle voice, All of which cloud my mind with hope, Yet, is there any hope? I sit to think of this hope, yet how can I, When I think of hope, I lack the greater understanding of you, With this, I find my dilemma, My heart and mind racking dilemma, The emotional stress on me is great, and in turn, you’re the enemy, But are you? No, I cannot blame you for that which you do not know, And if I were to tell you, would it resolve this problem? So why do I hold back? These thoughts boggle me, and to see you day after day yet to no words kills me inside, Yet, you do not know this, I stood with you, waiting, and yet you pay no attention or little, I care so much for your person, Your personality is golden, and you have a body to match, Yet, no attention to me is paid, Or, so it seems to me, So then may I say you do not wish, that which I wish? Does it mean, that like myself, you are shy as well? When I was behind you, and said a simple ‘hi’, how did you feel? For myself, it felt as if I just laid down all I had, Which, in truth, I have not, I seek to be with you, either friendship or more, But, how pathetic am I, I must be a fool to even think you could wish me, But what if it’s otherwise? What if in truth, you seek me as well? Yet like me, are afraid and shy, Oh, Beauty, do not be afraid, For how can we be afraid of that which we know not and are able to fix? So then again, why am I afraid? These emotional feelings are greater than any I’ve had, Never before had I sought someone so much like you, Yet, here I am, thinking of you, Do you not know the control you have over me? Do you not know the time I would spend with you? Or, do you just not think of it or care to? So, what then must I do to be noticed, If, even, you wish to, Or is it because you have not yet realized my feelings? When you shoulder’s slumped that day, I ached to hold and comfort you, When you did a great job at your talent, I wished to congratulate you with a gentle hug, But did I do either? No, I did none, However, I did stay there, and I did wave, I should have talked, to you, Oh, I should have talked, Oh, is this why I steer away from relationships? The pain? The unknown? What? Never before have I tried to open myself up so quickly to one, Yet, do you care? Do you realize how hard it is for me? Tears fall, yet to no gain, my mind wretches on and on, Of course, you know nothing of this, Oh, why can’t you just make a simple move, gesture, a sign of affection, Please do not be afraid Beauty ,of me or it, I mean and cause no harm, I only wish to be beside you, Yet, you know nothing, Nothing of my wants, my needs, my caring, or the falling tears, Truly, what power is it that you posses? When I do find your eyes upon me, my mind rejoices, yet I flush, I flush under your oh so beautiful brown eyes, Yet, do you not see this, this control? Do not be afraid of the control, for I have made it so, Yet, if you but ask me to leave, I shall, Not because I do not care for you, but because I care far too much, Or, so it seems, Now, I find myself at the end, the end of thought, And yet, I still am pathetically confused, But wait, I know what I must do, I must speak with you Beauty, As communication holds all, so if you will not try Beauty, I will, I will lie what I have before you, get to know you, Speak with you Beauty, and with that in thought, I shall go, Take care Beauty, and may the sun awaken in you awareness.2000, This was my first poem really. It broke me out into a new world, and a way to express myself. Any comments would be great. Written September 14th, 2001 © on Sep 13 2001 08:43 PM PST   0 • 1