Welcome

Ah, welcome, Please, enter and sit, Make your chair warm in which a way you desire, I have fallen before you so many times, Passed you by as well, Why then, do you ask why I have you hear now? Ah, well I’ve always known you, Yet, never have I welcomed you, Here, now, I welcome you in, In to sit and rest, Yet, you do know me, correct? Surely you do, for you’ve always been here, In this, I apologize, Apologize for not speaking sooner, Do you accept? Ah, of course you do, For do you really care at all?  True, it does not matter, You are the guest, The most unwanted welcomed guest, In which, I welcome, Welcoming you with a warm chair in which to rest, In your stay, you may remain, Remain in the room upstairs, Or in the room down the hall, draped in red and dark purples, The one of which is upstairs, remains dark, yet wholly bright, Everywhere, you ask? Ah, yes you may come and go as you please, Yet, I can never truly kick you out, so fear not, Within these hallow walls, you are safe, In this, I do wonder of my own, Ah, forgive me of my wanderings, It is not polite of me to do so, Specially to an old friend, A friend that has been with me for far too long, Or so it seems, Ah, so what is it you wish? Why is it, you press so hard now? Now, of all the times, why now? Surely a reason must be there, Ah, is it that noticeable, Yes, that I will not deny, Deny my loneliness, Deny what I sought, yet which I seek, That is why you press so hard now isn’t it, You wish to awaken me, Yes, make me aware, this I can’t deny, For awareness is what lead me straight to you, Sacrificing my own will for another’s own pleasure, At the price of ‘awareness’, Ah, this is why you are here, This is why I sit with you, But, you however are the opposite of me, You have the opposite of which you truly claim, You have many friends, If we may call them so, Is this how your allure attracted them as well? This screaming, painful cry, No, this wail within the soul, The agony of pain, Ah, in this, you were found, I had almost lost you, Yet, I actually thought you to be gone, Ha! Here you are now, Same as always, Yet, you appear to have grown? Truly amazing, How fast truly is it which you grow? I ask myself and you, if this is good, Is it? Ah, surely you welcome it, Again, that is why you have come, Isn’t it? You seek my acceptance, Yes, the acceptance of your presence, As well as, your overwhelming growth, Your size, when aware, is amazing, How did you get so big without my knowledge? Truly, I must have noticed before, Yet, I did, I did notice your growth in which I tried to repair it, No, you cannot be repaired, Altered, perhaps, but never repaired, Your being will always remain, Within me, Within us all, Again, I seek to make others aware, Do not be afraid, I will not eliminate your grasping hold, But I will make others aware, Aware of who you are, Ah, yes they deserve to know, It is not fair upon them, Nor is it fair upon you, Disagree do you? Perhaps, but it must be done, Done to let you and I rest, Peacefully rest, you and I, Ah, yes, others shall know, They will know to accept you, Not turn you away, They will learn to welcome your cold grasping hold, Ah, for you are nothing, The nothing which fills us all, The nothingness in which all is taken away, and you’re the only remain, Yes, the loneliness, the painful cries of the soul, The enemy which we are at constant battle with, you are the hollow emptiness, pitch and pure, In this, I accept you, Accept you into my life, Greeting you warmly, Reside anywhere you wish, For I cannot get rid of you, No matter how hard, it is, which I try, Rest well my old friend, In time, you shall be summoned again, And like now, I shall welcome and accept you, Yet, I shall always curse the pain which you bring, In this, I rest with you, Nothing.This describes the acceptance of emptiness, and also the acceptance and understanding that it will never leave. However, the pain does not need to be enjoyed, but accepted, none the less. This poem is a conversation with myself, and the way it is written is not supposed to be in any particular order, and not straight. Are many things you think about in your head straight and linear, do you not wander? Written August 1st, 2000 © on Sep 13 2001 11:54 PM PST   0 • 1