Playing With Fire

Playing with fire didn't seem like such a risk. I basked in the warmth of it's glow. I danced through the flames, laughed with the beautiful reds spinning around me. So full of myself. I could never be burned. Twirling my heart on a golden flag above my head. Spinning gracefully over the hot coals and embers of the blaze I had so carelessly built. And I laughed the whole time thinking no one could burn me in my viscious games. Untouchable dancing through invisible flames. Then suddenly A slip I lost my footing Or a push? And I'm falling I grabbed out in shock for something Someone To grab onto Grasping nothing but sparks and pain. My hands blistering and burning My lungs filling with smoke Suffocating on burning air and blood The smell of revenge and spite. Of jealousy circling in smoke rings before my eyes. Before stabbing into my hot skin, before filling my pores and drowning me inside out. And in this chaos, I dropped my fragile swollen heart. Watched it spiral through the fire A falling dove. It burned and crumbeled. Lays in ashes at my feet. And now I lay among the flickering flames and painstakingly peel off Lost layers of my burnt flesh. Looking for something better inside me Something worth saving. Anything worth crawling out of the blaze for. But layer by layer I find nothing. So I lay among the laughing licking flames And let them eat my layers off Let them find my core. Let them all find out who I was all along. And then Perhaps they will move on A backdraft of satisfaction And attack the next mirage of a person While I rebuild myself from the ashes. Written March 28th, 2002 © on Mar 28 2002 06:28 AM PST   10 • 0