One Hundred and Eight Pounds of Fear

How do you comfort someone when you can't even comfort yourself? I look at his eyes and see endless potential, unlimited growth, neverending laughter. He is what I once was, in a way. Where did my potential go? Is it reborn, in his frail body and delicate mind? I have never believed in reincarnation of the soul. But, reincarnation of a dream? Perhaps. And yet this is not a love story, for love cannot exist between a fish and a bird. Not a proper love, anyway, and I've had my share of jaded and shallow love for one lifetime. Catch me the next time around, if there is one. In his mind's eye he seems to see something in me, but what? When the captain of a great ship is lost at sea, he thinks of what all great unselfish beings think of - the welfare of his crew. He wishes no one to die; for everyone to return safely to dry land. A noble dream. When the selfsame captain has been on the dark sea alone for fifteen years, his crew slowly starving, his ship falling apart, his nerves frayed, he moves towards the light. Any light. If that light is in enemy territory; If that light is an illusion; If that light is the unreachable moon; He goes towards it. And so, this message is for you, my one-hundred and eight pounds of fear: Please, for your own sake, become your own light, before seeking another. You won't sink, because I won't let you.This is for a very young boy who is just figuring things out in his life and, from what I hear, seems to idolize me to a degree. While this is flattering, I have to say that I think it's misguided. But, I'll still be there for him. Written November 20th, 2001 © on Nov 20 2001 12:32 PM PST   10 • 0 • 12