Steven's Coat (A one act play, fourth draft)

Steven's Coat Draft Four by Paul Grandy December 2001 scene one The curtain is closed. VANCE enters through the curtain and a spot light appears on him. VANCE: Before we start this off, there's one thing I should tell you: I'm gay. I'm a homo. A fag. A fop. A queer. A puff. A… Okay, you get the idea. Now that I'm older, it's not that big of an issue for me. I'm happy with who I am. But, I remember when I was younger, my life seemed  compartmentalized. No, I guess that's a bad way to say it. What I mean was, I felt that because I was gay, my life had to follow a certain pattern. It's as though my entire lifestyle was predetermined because of my sexuality. (the lights come up and the curtain opens to reveal VANCE's apartment). This is my old apartment. Pretty nice, eh? It's wasn't much, but I'd worked hard to get a place in this city that wasn't full of cockroaches and screaming babies. I've worked as a market researcher for years now, but this night that changed things for me, it happened back when I was just starting out at the company. Everyone has times in their lives when they re-examine themselves. Your beliefs, your ideals, what you live for, they all seem contrived, and you find yourself looking at your life objectively for what seems like the first time. You step back and realize that the things you've been living for are meaningless. The phone begins to ring. VANCE: Oh, that's just Sara calling. I used to jump and run to the phone whenever I heard it ringing, but this particular time I couldn't answer it. I wanted to, but I just couldn't. You see, I was in the bathroom. VANCE exits to the washroom and the phone rings two more times. The answering machine picks up and gives its traditional greeting. A woman with an irritating voice - SARA - speaks. SARA: Hello? Vance? I know you're there. I know I haven't talked to you for a few days, but I wanted to catch up and see how you are, and if you're still upset about that guy. Anyway, I just got out of a seminar on Ayn Rand's philosophy, so I'll give you a shout a bit later, or maybe come by. I'll talk to you later and, Vance... I hope you feel better. (she hangs up) Instantly there is a knock at the door. Another knock. And another. No one answers so JAMES enters. JAMES is wearing a tank top and big pants, has sparkles in his hair and on his face, and is ready to go to a club. He carries a bottle of water and murse (a male version of a purse). He speaks with a slight lisp. JAMES: Vance? Hello? VANCE enters in different clothes, and appears to have been crying. VANCE: Hey James, sorry, I was just in the bathroom. What's up? JAMES: Nothing, just brought you some goodies for when we go out tonight, and I'm going to make you dinner. VANCE: What are you making? JAMES: Your favourite –spaghetti! VANCE: Oh, cool. (he wipes his eyes and sniffs) JAMES: Hey, did you push off without me? VANCE: Oh, no, of course not. I think I'm just getting a bit of a cold. JAMES: Oh, you should take something for that. Anyway, look what I brought you. VANCE and JAMES sit on the couch and look through the bag of items. VANCE: All this, for me? JAMES: You bet buddy. (removing items from bag as he speaks) Flavoured condoms, glowsticks, brand new hair gel, and last but not least - body paint! VANCE: Thanks James, but I doubt I'll get a chance to use any of these any time soon. JAMES: What do you mean? You've had sex with more guys than most people will in their lifetime. VANCE: Yeah, well… (almost flattered) JAMES: Who was that guy from last week anyway? He was pretty cuuuute. VANCE: Yeah, he was. JAMES: What was his name again? Sam? Stewart? VANCE: Steven. JAMES: Oh yeah, Steven. You two have a good time? VANCE: Yeah… (looking at coat) We did. JAMES: Great, I'm glad. You know, I think I saw something in his eyes, that guy. Very good skin, too. I wish I could get skin like that.  It sure would help me land more shoots. (looks at hands) VANCE: Well, do you want something to drink? I could use something myself. JAMES: Sure. VANCE: I'm havin' a beer. What do you want? JAMES: Just a coffee, with extra cream, hun. VANCE goes to get drinks, and JAMES' eyes wonder to coat. JAMES: New coat? VANCE: Oh, no, it's not mine. JAMES: Who's is it? VANCE: Steven. JAMES: Who? VANCE: The guy from last week. JAMES: Oooooh. (he gets up to examine it) It's just fabulous. Very nice. I'd say it cost at least three-fifty. VANCE: Eh, I can't say I've thought about it. I might give it away, if he doesn't come back for it any time soon. JAMES: Well, if you decide you want to get rid of it, call me. JAMES goes to sit back on the couch, and VANCE hands him a coffee. JAMES spills a bit of the coffee on his hand and overreacts. JAMES: Ah! My hand! (he shakes his hand) VANCE: Oh James, are you all right? JAMES: Oh, I think I'm okay. (wiping hand with napkin out of murse) VANCE: Sorry. JAMES: And I have a photo shoot on Monday. Well, (examines hand), I think I'm okay. VANCE: What kind of photo shoot this time? JAMES: Oh, I'm showing off the new Timex model. It's soooo great being a hand model. (extends hand) All you have to do is strap on a watch or slip on a ring, they take pictures, and you get paid. It's great. VANCE: As long as nothing happens to your hands. JAMES: Yeah. (examines hand further) Well, I think I'm all right. Do you have a nail file? VANCE: Yeah, one second. (grabs one from somewhere) Here you go. JAMES files nails. JAMES: (pause) So when's Sara getting here? VANCE: I dunno. She called a few minutes ago, and said she was on her way over. She said something about a seminar on Ayn Rand that she was just at. JAMES: Ayn Rand? Who the hell is that? VANCE: I asked her that when she told me about the seminar. She gave me this. (holds up a copy of Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead) 'The Fountainhead'. I haven't had time to start reading it, but apparently she thinks it's pretty amazing. JAMES: Oh yeah, I never have time to read either. I'm more of a TV person; reading hurts my head. VANCE: Yeah. (chuckle as he points out his library) Mine too. JAMES: Some of us like to sleep now and then, you know. Not everyone can manage six hours a night, like you. VANCE: And not everyone takes eleven a night, like you. JAMES: What can I say? I need my beauty sleep. VANCE: Heh. JAMES: Anyway, what do you say I make you dinner? VANCE: Sure, I'll help. scene two There is a knock at the door. JAMES opens the door and SARA enters. She is a well dressed woman, with glasses and her hair up in a bun. JAMES: Sara! Hey hun!! How are you? JAMES goes and gives SARA a big hug. SARA hugs JAMES briefly, then pushes him away. SARA: Hey Vance, hey James. Vance, why didn't you answer my call? VANCE: Oh, you called? (he checks the machine) Oh, sorry, I must have been in the bathroom. SARA: It's okay. So… what are you guys up to? JAMES: Just making dinner. SARA: Oh, cool. (goes over and smells it) Smells pretty good. Did you get a chance to look at that book I gave you, Vance? VANCE: Oh, no, I didn't have time yet. SARA: (offended) Oh. Well, I'd like you to make time, okay? VANCE: I will, Sara. JAMES: So um, guys, are we going to Club 104 tonight? I heard there's this really hot DJ spinning. SARA: Yeah, of course we're going. After all, it's a Friday. VANCE: Actually, guys, I wanted to know if we could just go to a movie tonight. SARA: A movie? VANCE: Yeah, I have gift certificates from work. SARA: Um… no offence hun, but I don't really want to spend my Friday night at the movies. We'd get home at, what, midnight? I hate getting home that early. JAMES: Yeah, and Vance, I told you – I have to go tonight. Alex will be there, if I'm lucky. (dreamy sigh) VANCE: Yeah I know, but we go to 104 every weekend. I just wanted to do something a little different tonight. SARA: Hun, are you feeling okay? Here, have some E. (she goes to get some from her purse) VANCE: No, it's okay. (he stops her) I don't think I want any tonight. SARA: Oh, all right. More for me. (she takes a pill) JAMES: (still cooking) So how was your seminar hun? SARA: Oh, it was wonderful. We learned about how emotions are not a basis for action for a rational being, about how collectivism and statism are tools used by governments to oppress the rational beings of a society, about how… JAMES: Boring! SARA: Well, I wouldn't expect you to understand. JAMES: (moves over to SARA) So, Sara, you gonna get lucky tonight? Bring someone back to that lovely apartment of yours, and, y'know. (winks) SARA: You know I don't do that. JAMES: Do what? Have physical contact? SARA: Sleep around. VANCE: How long has it been? SARA: Since what? VANCE: Since… (slightly mocking JAMES) Y'know. SARA: I've never bothered. JAMES: Never? SARA: Never. VANCE: Never? SARA: Never. VANCE and JAMES share a look. JAMES: Are you waiting for someone who's hot enough? SARA: Nope. Looks are superficial. VANCE: Are you waiting for someone you love? SARA: Love? Love is nothing more than a series of chemical reactions created by ancient tribal instincts. There's no more to it than the drugs we take. In modern societies, of course, there's no room for such foolish emotions, so the rational being will do everything she or he can to suppress her or his emotions, especially about love. VANCE: You mean simply ignore your emotions? SARA: For the time being, that's all we can do. We don't have a way to completely eliminate the irrational emotion of love. JAMES: Why can't we? SARA: We haven't found a way yet. VANCE: Should we? SARA: What a stupid question; of course we should. We'll find all the answers eventually, with enough time, and study, and the right sort of tools. Then we won't need to worry about trivial and subjective problems such as yours. VANCE: Problems such as mine? SARA: You know exactly what I'm talking about. JAMES: What's going on? VANCE: Nothing, James. Sara, drop it. SARA: Hey, you're the one who came to me crying and complaining over this coat (she moves towards it). JAMES: Now why would be do something like that? It's such a lovely coat, don't you think? I'd be delighted if someone left it at my place. SARA: Yes, it's lovely, isn't it? (she touches the coat and a tape falls out) JAMES: Oh, what's this? (picks up tape) VANCE: Hey, you shouldn't be looking through people's things like that. (he moves over and snatches up tape) JAMES: What do you care? You're never going to see Stewart... Sampson... uh... VANCE: STEVEN!!!! JAMES: Whatever. The point is, you're never going to see him again. SARA: No, he's certainly not. JAMES: What do you mean? SARA: Oh nothing, just that our friend Vance here had a little run in with a friend we like to call... As SARA was speaking to JAMES, VANCE moves over to the two. He pretends to trip and spills spaghetti sauce on JAMES' hand. JAMES, of course, freaks out. JAMES: Ahhh! My hand!!! (shakes hand violently) VANCE: Oh god, I'm so sorry James. Here, go clean yourself in the washroom. (moves JAMES offstage) VANCE turns to SARA and they glare at one another. SARA: Well, that was clever. VANCE: Look, I told you what happened in confidence. I thought we agreed not to tell him. SARA: I recall no such agreement. VANCE: I don't want anyone to know. SARA: Vance, you fell in love. It happens to everyone. Well, most everyone. VANCE: But it was stupid! He was only here for a few hours. How could anyone fall in love that quickly? SARA: You're asking the wrong person. (pause) You know, not that I care, but... how was it? VANCE: How was what? SARA: (imitating James from earlier) Y'know. VANCE: We never did that. (SARA laughs) No, I'm serious. SARA: You? VANCE: Me? SARA: Vance Austin? VANCE: Vance Austin. SARA: Then what did you guys do? VANCE: Talked. SARA: Talked? Who talks any more? And who brings back someone from Club 104 to talk? VANCE: Until last week, I'd have said no one. SARA: Vance, he was just some guy, some guy you met at a club while on E. What was so special about him? JAMES returns. JAMES: Well, I think I'm okay. Phew, close call. Try not to be such so clumsy, ok Vance? VANCE: Oh, yeah, sorry. SARA: So what was so special about him, Vance? JAMES: About who? Who are we talking about? SARA: This guy from last week. Vance is having trouble not thinking about him. JAMES: You know what helps with that? VANCE: What? JAMES: E. SARA: It's true. VANCE: No, I already said I didn't want any. JAMES: So tell us about him! VANCE: Well, it's odd. His words, his very presence... it was amazing. JAMES: Okay, but what about his abs? His pecs? His ass? VANCE: He had the most interesting hair. SARA: Was it well trimmed? VANCE: No. JAMES: Dyed? VANCE: No. SARA: Highlighted? VANCE: No. JAMES: What then? VANCE: I'm not sure. (beat) And he had such captivating eyes... SARA: Did he wear contacts? VANCE: No. JAMES: Eye makeup? VANCE: No. SARA: Bifocals!?!? VANCE: No. (beat) He had the nicest clothes. JAMES: Gap? VANCE: No. SARA: Club Monaco? VANCE: No. JAMES: Old Navy? VANCE: No. (beat) Sears. SARA: Sears? Who shops at Sears any more? You went home with someone who shops at... Sears? That isn't like you at all. VANCE: I don't know what to say. SARA: I'm going to powder my nose, boys. JAMES: So where is he Vance? Will you see him again? VANCE: I won't. JAMES: Why not? VANCE: He said I'm not his type. JAMES: Oh, I'm so sorry hun. I just hate seeing people without love in their lives. VANCE: Thanks, James. JAMES' cell phone rings. He excuses himself, answers it, and talks on it. VANCE: (to audience again) And that's when I realized it. My two closest friends were nothing like me. On the one hand, I had a cold, rational, heartless, drug-addicted girl, and on the other, an emotional marshmallow. And the solution to my problems? 'Do more E'. I always believed in the idea of having friends for life, but, these people? I don't think I fully realized what I had to do, until... (fades back into scene) SARA returns from the washroom. SARA: Can we finish making dinner now? VANCE: I guess. SARA: Vance, he was just a guy. Haven't you been in love before? VANCE: No. SARA: Oh... JAMES returns from his conversation. JAMES: Sorry guys, turns out I have to go. I am so silly.  I have a date tonight and I completely forgot. SARA: A date? VANCE: With who? JAMES: This girl Julia. I met her on the subway this week. VANCE: I thought you were seeing that girl Amy? JAMES: Naw, I got bored with her. VANCE: James, you're a man-whore. JAMES: I know. Anyway, byeeee. JAMES exits. VANCE: Do you still want to go to 104? SARA: Of course. VANCE: Ugh. Are you sure you don't just want to do something normal? SARA: Normal. VANCE: Yeah, you know, normal. It's not normal to go to the same club every weekend. SARA:  Normal is a subjective term. One cannot judge one's actions based on a term such as that. VANCE: Oh, whatever. SARA: Are you going to wear that? VANCE: Yeah. (SARA scoffs) What's wrong with what I'm wearing? SARA: Um... (she looks VANCE up and down) Why don't you go have a shower, and I'll finish dinner. When you get out, we can find something better for you. K? K! VANCE reluctantly leaves to go have a shower and SARA resumes making dinner. scene three SARA is cooking. She can hear VANCE singing in the shower. SARA: Keep it down! Oh, and use that body lotion I got you! VANCE keeps it down and SARA continues to cook. There is a knock at the door and SARA goes to answer it. JOAN, VANCE's sister, enters. SARA: Oh, hello. Can I help you? JOAN: Oh, I'm sorry to bother you, but... SARA: Look, if you're selling something, I'm not interested. (goes to show JOAN out) JOAN: No, no, I'm not selling anything. I'm here to see Vance. SARA: Oh. Is it anything important? We're just about to go out. JOAN: Oh, nothing, it's just that I... VANCE enters without having showered. VANCE: Is that body lotion anywhere out here? I can't... oh. Joan. It's... it's been years. What are you doing here? JOAN: I know I haven't seen you in a while. Not since - VANCE: Not since… SARA: Not since what? VANCE: Nothing, Sara. Uh, Joan, this is my friend Sara. Sara, this is my sister, Joan. JOAN: How do you do? SARA: Nice to meet you. Awkward silence. SARA: I didn't even know Vance had a sister. He never told me. JOAN: That doesn't surprise me. Awkward silence. VANCE: Sara, maybe you should head out to 104 now. I'll meet you there later. SARA: Okay Vance. Nice meeting you. SARA exits. VANCE: What are you doing here? JOAN: I found your address in the phone book. Well, actually, I went to the wrong apartment first, across town. But, I found you, and here I am! VANCE: I see. (pause) So, how's mom? JOAN: Oh, she's pretty good. She's going to put out a new cookbook in the fall. She wanted to send you an early copy, actually, but she didn't know if you'd want it. VANCE: Oh, I probably wouldn't like any of her recipes. Her food was always way to sweet. JOAN: Yeah, but that never stopped you from asking for more. VANCE: Yeah, I know. (he continues to put things away) You never answered me. What are you doing here? You don't make the trip from North Bay to Toronto just to say hi. JOAN: Well, I had to come to the city anyway for a conference. VANCE: Oh. JOAN: So, I thought I'd just come by, and let you know that mom and dad's anniversary is next week. VANCE: Really? JOAN: Yeah, thirty years together next Friday. They wanted me to come and ask if you'd come to their dinner. VANCE: I don't believe they'd want me there. JOAN: They do, Vance. They do. And they said you could bring anyone you wanted to. VANCE: I'll think about it. (awkward pause) Can I get you something to drink? VANCE goes to get them each a glass of wine, while JOAN looks around the apartment. She notices a male erotica poster. JOAN: I like your apartment. VANCE moves over to JOAN, hands her a glass of wine, and notices what she is looking at. VANCE: Oh. That. Don't worry about it. My friend James bought it for me. I don't like it too much. JOAN: Why not? VANCE: It's just too… too gay. JOAN: What does that mean? VANCE: Nevermind. I just don't like it. I think I might sell it. JOAN: But look at those guys; they're hot! VANCE: Joan! JOAN: What? I'm not allowed to talk like that in front of my little brother? VANCE: It's… it's embarrassing. JOAN: Oh, whatever. (pause) You're doing quite well. I saw one of your Gap ads you designed last month. VANCE: Eh, it's a living. JOAN: Well, that's good. I always wondered about you. I knew that you leaving would probably be for the best. I'm just glad you're happy, is all. VANCE: Thanks. JOAN: You are happy, aren't you? VANCE: I... (does not finish) JOAN: Dad wonders why you left too. VANCE: Wonders why I left? Why? He was the reason I did. JOAN: What happened? VANCE: He didn't tell you? JOAN: No. (pause) Vance, I know you're gay. VANCE: You do? JOAN: Of course. I've known for years. VANCE: Why didn't you ever talk to me about it? JOAN: I figured you'd come around and tell me, when you were ready. VANCE: He saw a note that someone had sent me. Some guy from school, I thought he had a crush on me, and he sent me a note which confirmed it. Dad found the note and freaked out. That's when I knew that I couldn't stay in that house if I wanted to be myself. So, I waited a week, got all my stuff together, and hopped the bus to Toronto. JOAN: Dad never said why you left. I never knew what had happened; I was so worried. VANCE: Well, things worked out well for me, so it's okay. I'm glad I left. (pause) How is dad, anyway? JOAN: Oh, he's okay. He said he sent you a card a couple of weeks ago, but you never answered. VANCE: Yeah, I saw the return address and never even opened it. JOAN: Vance, he misses you. VANCE: I have nothing to say to him. Or you. JOAN: I see. VANCE: (pause) So you know all about me? JOAN: What do you mean? VANCE: You know who I am? JOAN: Yeah. Do you? VANCE: I… (pause) I think so. JOAN: So, are you seeing anyone right now? VANCE: Well, there was one guy from last week that I thought was pretty special, but nothing's going to happen there. JOAN: Oh, why not? VANCE: Well, (pause) I don't know. I thought we hit things off really well, but he said I wasn't his type. JOAN: Oh, well, that happens a lot. VANCE: I guess. JOAN: Well, maybe you'll find someone else. I mean, there are plenty of guys out there. VANCE: Yeah... JOAN: But? VANCE: But I'm not sure how to have a relationship. JOAN: You've never had one? VANCE: Not really. JOAN: Oh. (pause) Well, I guess you'll have to learn, just like the rest of us did. VANCE: I guess. JOAN: Who knows, maybe if you have a relationship with a guy, I could meet him some time. VANCE: Maybe. JOAN: I'd like that. VANCE: So would I. JOAN: (pause) Well, listen Vance, I should get back to the hotel. I have a meeting in the morning. But, if you decide you want to come to see mom and dad next week, give me a call on my cell phone, okay? (she takes out a pen and paper and writes down her number) VANCE: Okay. VANCE goes to get JOAN's coat, and Steven's coat falls in the process. JOAN: Oh, nice coat. Where did you get it? VANCE: If you wanna know, some guy left it here. JOAN: Some guy? VANCE: Yeah. The guy from last week. Steven. JOAN: Must have left in a hurry if he forgot such a nice jacket. VANCE: Yeah... he practically ran out. JOAN: Oh? Why? VANCE: Nevermind. JOAN: Well, at least you have this lovely jacket. VANCE picks up the jacket and hangs it back up. JOAN: (pause) Well, think about coming next Friday, okay? And if you ever want to sell that painting, call me. VANCE: I will. JOAN: Okay Vance. Well, goodbye. VANCE: Bye Joan. (kisses JOAN's cheek) JOAN exits and VANCE speaks to the audience again. VANCE: That was an unusual evening for me. It was as though I was watching myself from outside, and I thought "What am I doing?" Going to a club every single weekend, with the same hollow friends, doing the same drugs, seeing the same people. I wanted to break free, but I didn't know where I'd go. I didn't want to dump my friends for the sake of being on my own. Then, when Joan came, I realized that I wouldn't be alone if I didn't want to be. And the coat? I kept it. I don't know why. Steven never came back for it, and I wanted to keep it. I don't think Steven changed me, I think he pointed out what I needed to change. And, I did. VANCE steps back into the scene and picks up the tape that fell out of Steven's coat earlier. He looks around his apartment solemnly, takes the tape and goes over to the stereo, puts the tape in and plays it. Puppet Love, the theme from Being John Malcovich, comes on, and VANCE looks around his apartment some more. He sighs sadly, puts his head in his hands, and looks up again. He picks up the phone and, looking at the number JOAN gave him, dials. VANCE: Joan, it's Vance. What time should I be there on Friday? Blackout. EndRead it and fucking comment. Please. Written January 24th, 2002 © on Jan 24 2002 09:13 AM PST   10 • 0