Defeated Again

Feeling out of control Guilts once forgiven wail at me I try my best to be free of you and live my life with honor and dignity in happiness and faith But then YOU YoU aNd yoUr unhOly AlLiAnCe in the backdrop waiting... Stealthily waiting for the chance to march in YOU sCrEEch ScRaPe aNd LeAk into the frontiers of my mind And so it begins again Bearing down on me As a cement block dropped to the sea Noose Around My Neck...cutting me Is it the strength in YOU or the weakness in me? Gravity and current carry me towards a burial at sea I ABHOR YOU! Yet when I do I become OnE with YoU As you always said I'd be NO NOT TRUE! ONLY IF I LET IT BE! Sometimes i want to SURRender For I am tired               ...so damned tired and in the mirador of your muck like quicksand I am stuck Shall I defy you - or pacify you? Let you have your way with me a come what may day with me A piece of the PaSt in the midst of me SiNs Of tHe FaThErS you see... On YOU in ME feel defective Words of the Collective are hammering at me But No! Oh NO! YOU - YOU are not Me I - i am Not YoU Nor will I ever Be I've worked too hard to let YOU win Daddy dearest, is defeated again. Written March 9th, 2002 © on Mar 09 2002 03:57 AM PST   18 • 0 • 1