My Asylum

ACT I Vulnerable, defeated....Now you have all of me. Your arms of steel are my asylum. Feed me your hand and guide me. Eternally I would follow blind. Faithful to my master. Command me like your slave in bondage I would be content to satisfy even one little whim. My body serves to seduce you. Starve it, hurt it, suffocate me.Please don't abandon. Just the breathe of your neck sends my body into captivity. Aesthetics could never portray The fire that rushes through our veins for each other. Spin me off my feet,I would come close to the ground. Dependant, my soul on your entire existence. Wide open for the kill I will wager all of me. All of the pain you may bring because of my inhibitions. No one will ever compare.You were, are, and always will be. And I.... will be insatiable.                                   ACT II Swallowed whole is my pride .You left your mark. Watch this, this is my hand Slipping out of the last grasp of your fingertip. How do you like that? I won't let you see how deep you go inside of me. Smiling, I will flow through your presence. With out even blinking, you will never see. Watch me move with all my glory. Across this room I see you watching. Oblivious to your scratchy voice in my ear. Slower are my steps without your lead. But watch me dance away from you. Sober are my thoughts of your callouses brushing my cheek. Drunken, I will swollow you away. Wicked is your bondage. But you will see my angelic grace. I won't allow your indulgence. Don't watch me like that. Don't assert your envy with those eyes. Eyes so clear as doves. I can keep your pain out of my eyes. But a small voice keeps repeating deep inside of my soul. All that I refuse to feel. Don't let your jelousy rapture your bearing...you taught me that. The impact of your jelousy dominates me. I will not submit. Savage here in your presence. Free with my vengeance.                                 ACT III I'll withhold. Decline to sense. You will never feel inside of me. Elusive, Malicious, lucid. Deceitful myths of love...so weary. Bloodshed love slaves...not me. Guarded by his scars. I thought I might like that. Dominion of my heart. How sweet, How nice, how pretty. I am his goddess and he is my king. Virtuous ignorance was my mistake. Absurd. You have hardened me. Taken in. Feel my wrath. But I am shackled by you. Never free. So here is your glory. Enjoy the honor. You have fixed me. Let go? Oh no, I tried. So, I will stay. Revenge will pacify the ache. Nobody else will hurt me the way you do. Damn it! Why can't I just let go? Are your eyes still doves? Do your legs still stand like pillars of marble? You always come back to me. You too are tangled. But I will prevail. Callous. ACT IV Just a little taste rushing through my veins. Master, swallow me whole into your dimension. Just one more shred then I can quit. All of me, my love, respect, have my happiness In exchange for your misery. Blow through my hair so I can feel you. Like an echoed through the mountains, intangible but soothing. Take me to your place. Eat me up inside. At least I can feel you. Barely a glance of your shadow And my body won't shiver. Be a ghost that haunts me so I can feel your torment. Throw me off a cliff I will gladly be your tragedy. Send the hair up on my arms Take the breathe out of my mouth. You are so romantic with an insatiable taste. Let me live with you as my tormenter. Bring on your misery. The love of my life. Nobody will ever compare.                             ACT V Your memories consume me. I thought I would spare myself the anguish I was so sure your presence would bring. But the pain I saved myself from Could never compare to the torment That occupies my concious. All that nobody can fulfill Is all that I need ...You. Everything becomes a question Wondering if you will conclude me. Part of me craves you. So I pray for you to break me. At least those wounds will heal. I beg my soul for freedom, But you are the song I sing in the vineyard of En Gedi. I quarrel with my heart, But it is ignorant. Your arms are of gold and set with crysonite. I have reasoned to no end, But your legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. I have cursed your name in the morning, But you are the first one I pray for at night. Isolation is my punishment. A life of misery in exchange for my cold heart. Every star I wish you happiness. I wonder if you are partial... Do you breathe my name for comfort? Does it all seem dull and barren? Are your eyes still doves? Do you ever visit the garden? Crazed and deranged in the vineyard of En Gedi. ACT VI I cannot bring you here to my defenseless pub. Drunken...I look how the cards have fallen on the floor. Caught up in my sick mythology of a garden. Here's to you...Solomon. Never seeing me crawling through this deck of humility Holding on to phases of our last dance. Recounting and counting each and every step. Here's to you...Jack. You never reading these words I inhibit to them. They have been through us you know, Reading you like a bad addiction. Here's to you ...Heroine. And the bottom of this bottle The bondage I am Begging for your beating. Here's to you...Master. And all of the wicked little plays I direct with my vengeance The objects of my demented affection. So, here's to me... Written November 4th, 2001 © on Nov 04 2001 08:42 AM PST   0 • 8