What they don't know...

So many people despise me for who I am They say I have it good, no reason for complaints What they don’t know is that it’s all inside, hidden away, purposely They can’t see how dark my room is, even when all the lights are on They don’t hear me cry on my bed And then suck it all back, trying to be brave They won’t ever know who I am when I’m alone, or how painful it is; Suffering that will never end This is only a sample of the self-inflicted violence and grief in my mind And that's all I’ll tell; Everything else is too insane, locked away inside And I hate you all for judging me, even my friends because you’ll never know or understand You say there's wars in your head too Do you have acid in your heart that eventually burns out your eyes? Yea, I didn’t think so I’m sick of crying blood and to know that it is a perpetual wound Makes me grovel at life’s feet and beg for it to leave me The only thing that keeps me alive is the air in my lungs, and sometimes, I hold my breath Wish the thought of my friends could drag me out from under the covers, but in five years I won’t know them any more Too bad there's not a reason to keep going The truth in what I wrote makes me cryi dont want my friends to take offence to this. you know i love you all, it was just one of those times, you know... Written February 3rd, 2002 © on Feb 22 2002 12:53 PM PST   18 • 0 • 1