Obsession-Fetish

I knew you for three years. You were the world to me you made all three years so happy. It was the best days of my life. I had never met you before you were a poor boy to me, I was a rich gal living with my family. I had it all including you. I lied and did wrong things to you. We met in a game of quake, that moment I felt the earth shake, when you said you loved me. We were 24 hours apart, the distance didn't seem long but long enough not to meet. I told you, I would met you, and did wrong things to you I wanted to meet you but I had lied about my age to. It was an impossibility to see you, but I dreamed of it every night the thought of staying up late talking, and holding each other tight. You knew nothing of me, I knew everything of you. You opened up to me, and I closed down on you. You wanted me badly, And I wanted you more. I wanted to guide you through life and show you the world. You were a few years older then me, and I felt bad about lying so much, It hurt me probably more then knowing I would never feel your touch. After the first year of lies, it troubled you. I had made my first phone call to you about six weeks after you knew the truth. Just then I knew I was guilty and I found my self needing you. Trying anything to keep you. I wish I had told you the truth, to think you would of understood. I feel bad to this day, and knowing ill never have you again. We talked and decided we would remain friends. You went on dates with other people and so did I, Every time I would look in to the eyes of someone I dated I thought of you. Every time I put my arms around their neck I pictured it was you. After awhile of us talking you told me you didn't want to be friends it crushed me more deeply then any kind of revenge. I knew I deserved it, but couldn't deal with the fact that aching and pain was more then I could react. I tried so hard to break you up with your girlfriend, two girlfriends to be exact. The first girlfriend cheated on you, and I thought I had won you back We started talking again, you asked once more for me to date you. you moved to FL, to live with your mother, And I thanked you. You got back on the Internet, And told me to go away you said I was mental and you didn't have the time of day. I wish god could of granted me one wish for you to see the truth in my eyes, And that in the slightest kiss you would realize, That every-time I said I loved you it was true. another year goes by, and still I think of you. Once again we got in touch, and wanted to be with each other but you were with another, and would never cheat. I was jealous, and wanted to just feel every heart beat. I was nervous that you were lying to me, or trying to get back at me I started getting bitter, and thinking about you badly. Today is the fourth year, and once again your not here and this time I know your not coming around I lost my chance, and my smile will forever remain upside down. Your last words, were truly cruel you wanted to get your girlfriend jealous so you used me like a fool. we played each other, so well might I add. I cried on your shoulder, every time I got mad. IN this game, we've always played we have never won and the last game we played never was very much fun. I wanted to be honest, and let you know me open up my heart and let you see. But now its to late, your face is in a memory that will never be reality. And all I can say is sorry. and you'll never love me. But ill always have an obsession with you Because i could never stop loving you. And my fetish is ill someday meet you. Written November 30th, 2001 © on Nov 29 2001 04:10 PM PST, Shelly   0 • 10