Pointless Life

I wake up, I throw on my makeup. Everything so meaning less to me. There is a tragic emptiness no one sees. My escapes seem long, I seem to follow along. Seeking wishes and dreams are pointless to you, you do not understand what I go through. Every night I wash my face, I see my shadow in the floods. My heart opens up, like a light of love. The water drains down, my face wears a frown. My whole world turned upside down. Another pointless day, roaming around. searching, finding puzzle pieces that will never fit me. I'm trying to be, someone who I can never be, I don't even recognize me. Those who I call friends, leave me alone they never answer their telephone. They have a life, They go out every Friday night. I don't. I stay home alone wishing someone was close someone to listen to my voice and not be repulsed when my face isn't on. I wish I could be who I am. Forget the pointless needs and demands. I am NOTHING I am trash.. I'm poor and out of cash. I hate my self, and everything I do. I always think about negative moments of passions of blue. My cares, lost. My heart sank, everything worth putting together breaks. Lost... Pointless life, If I died tomorrow, you wouldn't find me for days. They would put a tomb stone over my head and rest me in a ugly black box bed. I would have no roses to cover me, No one to miss, or kiss me. Even this would be pointless, I must find a reason I must find a meaning. A condition, a feeling of belief. Before I slowly fall asleep, Before my soul leaves. Before I crawl on my knees. Hitting my self in my head hiding under my bed. No reason.. no points.. meaningless, is who I am call me *Nothing* ill understand. Written January 8th, 2002 © on Jan 08 2002 06:18 AM PST, Shelly   0 • 10