Virginity

In my heart I feel as if I'm unknown I'm in a dark house alone, and no telephone to call anyone. In a place deep inside, I feel my self hide in a closet with out light. There is a graceful presents that seeps in to my pores and makes me need love even more. I want someone to be the first, and the last for the rest of my life. Someone to kiss and hold tenderly, and make love with and lose my virginity. In a place of mind, I think of my self lying on a million roses, and thorns that I shed my blood to, and cry in the gloomy rain under pale stars with out you. I fault to the sound of my own voice telling me to save my self for someone special. I hear a raging voice that's yelling at me telling  me to lose my virginity. angry voices, that sound like my father, and clear voices telling me to go further with this ghost before me. A blooming flower rising in my stomach, one month after making love leaves this rapping bug inside of me. He was a tender ghost in love with me. He's left me with this life and with this baby that's growing. And there is no way of knowing If this was the right or wrong thing to do, but nine months from now ill find out if its a boy or girl and raise this child alone, and realize When I lost my virginity I knew I would stay at home and alone for the rest of my life. I had only two choices to make, and I had only one Hymned to break. My life is empty, And I should of known that it is possible to get pregnant even if we are not with the opposite sex, its possible in my religion, and possible in my mind, And after nine months you will believe to, And to think I'm pregnant, with a baby and it has nothing to do with you but only with the ghost that will always love me.you might not understand the meaning of the poem. But it has to do with. But the poem is about a ghost, that she has sex with (and as you know) ghosts you cannot feel, so it could not break her Hymned, But still she was pregnant... Kind of a strange poem, I understand but the idea at the time seemed very different, and unqiue. Plus anything is possible when you've been alone for along time... :) Written December 7th, 2001 © on Dec 07 2001 10:29 AM PST, Shelly   0 • 16