Santa's Rap

Ol’ school brother in the house, since the birth of Christ Chimney to chimney but I’m afraid of heights I am getting pretty old want my retirement plan Money ain’t a thing but still I can’t pay Uncle Sam Only decent job I get and it be at the mall Little homeys on my lap, lined from wall to wall Pukin’ cryin’ cheatin’ lyin’ greedy SOB’s If it ain’t little toy trains they mess with the Barbies East-West everybody wants the presents from the Clause But I ain’t givin’ noone jack and that is just because Hook: All you people y’all make me sick I am tired of your whole clique If my laws you try to attack You’ll find you’re hunted by the pack If my sleigh you will not abide You will answer to the -------- All the ladies want some from the big guy from the top I love to say I’m not a player I just crush a lot One time, weeki-weeki and I always travel far But I can’t wait until I get the new company car No disses to my reindeer boys they is a bunch of jets But I would rather find myself behind a new Corvette Da milk and cookies as my pay it’s such a load of crap Dessert for breakfast, lunch and snack, I ask whaddup wit’ that I service everyone on Earth I’m here to save the day Even McGwire/Sosa hittin’ bombs from here to Monterrey Hook All you people y’all make me sick... Eternally Watchin’ my lady Mrs. Clause up in her bikini Why she ain’t mad at me is still a mystery to me Look where we livin, (Where I’m chillin’) place is as cold as can be Tol’ me to be a doctor we could have a family I said, “No, I’ll be immortal” I think now what’s wrong with me She still loves me though I think cuz she’s still sleeping in with me But our bed’s been the sofabed since 1963 I digress anyone else they woulda thrown me in the street Only way she’s getting paid is million mailmen that carry Million letters with “Dear Santa” written very carefully By million kids who want my gifts they behavin’ so beautifully In the morning they will find ‘em and be shouting out with glee It be one more night in the life of my gift giving partyDue to the obsolete nature of the chorus, it will now remain unfinished until I can come up with something better... The Great Immortal Zeus Written March 11th, 2002 © on Mar 11 2002 02:59 AM PST   20 • 0 • 14