The Successful Author.

When Fate presents us with the Bays,     We prize the Praiser, not the Praise.     We scarcely think our Fame eternal     If vouched for by the Farthing Journal;     But when the Craftsman's self has spoken,     We take it for a certain Token.     This an Example best will show,     Derived from DENNIS DIDEROT.     A hackney Author, who'd essayed     All Hazards of the scribbling Trade;     And failed to live by every Mode,     From Persian Tale to Birthday Ode;     Embarked at last, thro' pure Starvation,     In Theologic Speculation.     'Tis commonly affirmed his Pen     Had been most orthodox till then;     But oft, as SOCRATES has said,     The Stomach's stronger than the Head;     And, for a sudden Change of Creed,     There is no Jesuit like Need.     Then, too, 'twas cheap; he took it all,     By force of Habit, from the Gaul.     He showed (the Trick is nowise new)     That Nothing we believe is true;     But chiefly that Mistake is rife     Touching the point of After-Life;     Here all were wrong from PLATO down:     His Price (in Boards) was Half-a-Crown.     The Thing created quite a Scare:--     He got a Letter from VOLTAIRE,     Naming him Ami and Confrre;     Besides two most attractive Offers     Of Chaplaincies from noted Scoffers.     He fell forthwith his Head to lift,     To talk of "I and DR. SW--FT;"     And brag, at Clubs, as one who spoke,     On equal Terms, with BOLINGBROKE.     But, at the last, a Missive came     That put the Copestone to his Fame.     The Boy who brought it would not wait:     It bore a Covent-Garden Date;--     A woful Sheet with doubtful Ink.     And Air of Bridewell or the Clink,     It ran in this wise:--Learned Sir!     We, whose Subscriptions follow here,     Desire to state our Fellow-feeling     In this Religion you're revealing.     You make it plain that if so be     We 'scape on Earth from Tyburn Tree,     There's nothing left for us to fear     In this--or any other Sphere.     We offer you our Thanks; and hope     Your Honor, too, may cheat the Rope!     With that came all the Names beneath,     As BLUESKIN, JERRY CLINCH, MACHEATH,     BET CARELESS, and the Rest--a Score     Of Rogues and Bona Robas more.     This Newgate Calendar he read:     'Tis not recorded what he said.