I'll Find You

Though I don’t know if you’re even in my life yet, I can feel the essence of you deep within me. It’s strange, but something tells me that you feel me, too. As I go through my life, it sometimes seems as though I could reach out my hand and touch your spirit because you’re so very close. I’m positive that things like the sweet smell of flowers wafting on a warm summer breeze and the inexplicable happy feeling I seem to wake up with from time to time are your own special ways of letting me know that you’re thinking of me, too.   Many have said, “Good things come to those who wait”. I’m not at any point in my life where I feel time is of the essence, but I do wonder why I have to go through yet another day without you. I know that no one has the answer to that question, but like many, I still ask it out of the frustration of the moment. I also wonder if we’ve already met, and for some reason, I’m unaware that it’s you I’ve been looking for. My heart also weighs heavy at the possibility of still being years or miles apart from each other right now, making our happiness together all the more elusive.   I’ll admit that during my sad times when I’m emotionally drained, I sometimes feel as though you’re just an antiquated notion or some shadowy dream that I’ll never be fortunate enough to realize. I’m so very sorry for that. Please understand the exhaustion suffered by my heart from finding yet another way to be without your touch sometimes makes it difficult for me to keep up my strength and maintain the confidence that I’ll find myself in your arms one day. But, I promise I’ll never give up looking for you. If I did, I would be giving up on your true happiness as well, and I’ll never do that.         Just so you know, I don’t really think I want anything more from you than anyone else asks for in a love. I’m not interested in your wealth, your station in life, or if you have many material possessions. I just want you to treat me in the same loving way you would like to be treated and I’ll surely do the same for you. Love, kindness, respect, honesty, appreciation and passion will be very easy for us to have and keep if we both work together in nurturing our long awaited bond.   When we’re together, I promise that each day will never be the same. I’ll do my best to fill your nights with the moon and the brightest shooting stars and I’ll paint your rainbows with all the colors you love. I’ll make sure anything that makes you happy will never be far from your reach. If it is, I’ll gently place your hand in mine and we’ll both find a way to make it attainable so it can be yours forever.   I want you to know that you will always be able to count on me for anything and that I’ll always be there to catch you if I should see you start to fall. Your heart will always remain my most prized possession and I’ll never do anything to make you regret your decision in giving it to me. Even from across a crowded room, you’ll see that look in my eyes that will forever assure you as to how much I love you and how I’ll put no other above you all throughout our days.   When I leave you, the words “I love you.” will always be followed by a gentle touch of your beautiful face or a soft kiss on your cheek to make them more special to you. When we’re apart, you’ll always know that not one sane minute will pass without the thought of you and I’ll be counting the seconds until we’re back in each other’s arms once again.   I can believe that you’ve probably heard all these promises before from others in your past. I have, too. But, I think those experiences were all meant to be and will only serve to make us appreciate each other even more when we are finally allowed to be together. Please understand that I’m not a perfect person by any means and the responsibilities and hectic pace which life imposes on us from time to time may make me falter momentarily and lose sight of where my priorities should be. But, with you by my side as my heart’s motivation, I know my responsibility of keeping you happy and content will seem almost like child’s play. I promise that if you remain diligent in your search for me, keeping your faith in love while I do the same, my heart will someday find yours and ours will rival only the truest of love stories to have ever been told. I’m already in love with just the thought of you. I wrote this letter to the love of my life, whoever she turns out to be. Written November 11th, 2001 © on Nov 11 2001 04:15 AM PST, Steve   18 • 8 • 5