All Alone

I once trusted my father.I once even trusted my mother.Now not only has all my trust and love for my parents vanished,But I’m left here, in the shadows, alone with my own cruel thoughts.I sometimes wonder why it is,That those who brought me into this corrupted world can reject me.It’s impossible to hide from my dark thoughts,If you can’t trust your own parents then whom can you trust?My parents have left me all alone but that is not all,My confidence has vanished and I feel useless,With no one around to love or praise meI can only criticize myself for who I am and the situation I am in.This fear of rejection instilled in me distances me from any close relationship.I feel like I have an internal scar which can be sensed kilometers away,My bleeding heart seems to be screaming for love,Yet wherever I look all I see is hatred.People say in times of trouble they turn to God,But in my situation there is no time to believe in the inconceivable.Why believe there is a God when your own parents pretend you don't exist?I do though believe in one thing, Hope.Hope that one day I’ll remember how to trust someone,Hope that one day I’ll find love,And maybe then I might believe,That it really does exist.I recently met someone 15 years old whos parents have broken up. In the last year she has lived in 6 different houses and has been rejected by both her father and mother, had her grandmother die while living with her and now lives with her boyfriend. I've never experienced such loneliness but i tried my best to capture it in this poem. Written October 19th, 2001 © on Oct 18 2001 11:34 PM PST   0 • 1