A love letter

My Dearest Wife,          November 18, 1999 I love you.  I will always love you.  I will love you as if you have never been loved before.  You reach into me and touch me, filling me with a desire to be with you.  There is no one but you, who fills’ my mind so.  You take me into the beauty of you, upon a wind soft and gentle.  You are my softness, my shadow, and my window into the beauty of this lonely world.  I hunger to be with you.  There is nothing more to this world except my love for you.  Without surcease, you have given me breath, life, joy, and eternity.  I look into the oceans of your eyes and am lost.  I am lost in the being that holds my breath in her eyes.  I ask God for the strength to love you in ways unknown to man, ways unseen in this hollow world.  Your beauty, unparalleled holds me, athwart the beams of my life’s boat.  There is nothing more I can give to you but my strength, my being, and I give that to you freely, without remorse, for that is my love for you.  A gift without fear, without loss, for deep within me lays the knowledge.  The knowledge, that within you lay that same strength, strength beyond all ken, all understanding.  For you love me without surcease, without fear, in a body quiet and small.  Your love knows no bounds, like a mighty animal it cannot be contained, held back.  You are the ocean to my world; you wrap me in the beauty that is you. I think of you, in the half-light of morning, when the stars are but shadows in the blossoming day.  Reaching out I find you there, beside me, quietly breathing.  The rise and fall of your breast, an echo of the pre-dawn rhythms of motherhood, like the ocean of life.  I watch as though the picture will shatter, exposing me to the cacophony of life surrounding me.  Quietly I watch, knowing this picture will remain, while the subject will awake.  There is nothing I cannot do without you beside me; you are the silent strength that fills me to the full.  Your willowy frame, only a pale echo, of who you are, what you are, and you do not know.  You know not how you support me, how you give me strength in the darkest hours, when I reach out to that picture.  When I am unable to prevent the waves from drowning me.  I reach out and find this slender hand reaching down, grasping me, and pulling me from the turmoil as if I was a child.  How can I tell you this, in the silence of the morning, in the half-light, when the stars are fading into nothingness.  You are my Gibraltar, the cornerstone holding me up, and you do not know.  I give you trinkets, a paltry shadow of what you are to me, but I cannot tell you.  I am unable to show more than this.  Like a child, you wake, and I smile at you.  You hand reaches up, knowingly, and caresses my cheek softly.  A gentle smile escapes your lips and you quietly mouth the words I love you.  Then softly, as though a puff of air escaped your quiet body, I hear the simple words I know, as if you can read my mind.  My mind quivers at the thought, but I know you, I know you can read my thoughts like the woman you are you reach into me and grasp the essence of me in one movement.  You have always done this.  This is why I love you and always will.  You are the essence of me and always will be, and all I can do is show you with trinkets and the simple words that I spoke when we were wed. I just wanted to tell you once more I love you and always will love you Your loving husbandas a note this is part of a book I am currently writing -- read it as if it were a love story composed of diary excerpts Written October 26th, 2001 © on Oct 26 2001 01:51 AM PST   0 • 8